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Dating Over 30: Because dating is hard, no matter how old you are.

2014.11.04 00:18 Dating Over 30: Because dating is hard, no matter how old you are.

Dating Over Thirty is a sub for discussion and advice on dating and relationships for people over the age of 30. **This is not a place to post personals or "looking for" or hookups.**
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2010.04.02 06:49 cinsere Reddit Personals - r4r - 300,000+ - Activity Partners, Groups, Dating, Hanging Out, Soulmates, FWBs

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2018.12.15 05:45 CurmudgeonlyBlaggart Over Forty? Let's do this!

Discussion of dating, relationships and the single life with people 40+. Please be civil.
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2020.09.19 00:42 lisagreenhouse Gary Michael Hilton, the National Forest Serial Killer, is known to have murdered four people. But his crimes and travels make it hard to believe there weren’t earlier victims. Are there more waiting to be discovered?

Who is Gary Michael Hilton?
Gary Michael Hilton, sometimes referred to as the National Forest Serial Killer, was a drifter who murdered at least four hikers in and around national forests in Florida, Georgia, and North Carolina between 2005 and 2008.
Hilton was found guilty and sentenced to life in prison in January 2008 for the murder of Meredith Emerson, 24. After that conviction, investigators across the country began looking into unsolved cases that were similar to Emerson’s, and Hilton was charged with and found guilty of three more killings. In 2011, he received the death penalty in a Florida court for the slaying of Cheryl Dunlap, 46. In March 2012, he plead guilty to the murders of John Bryant, 80, and Irene Bryant, 84 and a North Carolina court sentenced him to four consecutive life sentences.
Emerson, Dunlap, and the Bryants shared no specific victimology, instead it appears he chose them at random when he needed money. Investigators agree that his were crimes of opportunity, and they believe Hilton may have committed more murders across the southeast United States in the years before his four known victims were killed.
Hilton was born November 26, 1946. He had an unstable home life and varied criminal record that stretched from childhood until he was arrested for Emerson’s murder at the age of 61. In 1959, when he was just 13, Hilton reportedly shot his stepfather in a jealous rage over his mother. His stepfather didn’t press charges, but Hilton did spend some time in a mental hospital after the shooting.
At 17, Hilton joined the army, and he served from 1964 through 1967, including a tour in West Germany. He was honorably discharged in 1967 after he had been hospitalized for hearing voices and diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Hilton was married at least three times, but none of his marriages were long—the longest was just two years. He isn’t believed to have any children. His third wife was a security officer at Stone Mountain Park, a 3,000 acre park near Atlanta that offers camping, hiking, wooded trails, lakes, and family attractions, including the massive peak at its center that is carved with the likenesses of Confederate soldiers.
Hilton loved the outdoors. He hiked, camped, and frequently lived in forests and mountains around the south and southeast United States. He loved dogs, too, and had a dog named Dandy (sometimes reported as a golden retriever, other times described as red in color).
He never had steady employment; after leaving the army, he worked as a chauffeur in Florida from 1970 to 1972, and he was arrested in 1995 for stealing books he was hired to sell from a door-to-door sales company. From 1997 to 2007, he worked off and on handing out advertisements and doing odd jobs for a Gwinnett County, GA, siding company, but he permanently lost that job when he threatened to kill the company owner if he didn’t pay him $10,000.
Hilton also had ongoing legal troubles. He was convicted of a DUI in Florida in 1973; in 1983, he was convicted for carrying an unlicensed gun and a drug charge; he was found guilty of theft and marijuana possession in 1987; and he plead guilty to 21 counts of solicitation in 1995.
Samuel Rael, an attorney and filmmaker in Atlanta, admitted that in 1995 Hilton helped him develop the plot for the movie Deadly Run. The movie is about a man who stalks, hunts, and murders women in the woods, a storyline that has similarities to Hilton’s crimes. Rael had defended him in court multiple times since the mid-1980s for crimes ranging from arson and trespassing to solicitation of false charitable donations. Rael said Hilton, whom he considered a consultant on the project, came up with the idea of the main character releasing women into the woods to be hunted like prey and that he also helped select that cast and found the cabin in the woods near Cleveland, Georgia, where much of the movie was filmed. Meredith Emerson’s remains were found approximately 30 miles from that same cabin 13 years later. Investigators have said that Hilton was not considered a suspect in any murders or disappearances during the time the movie was being filmed.

Confirmed Victims
Victims are listed in the order of their disappearances and murders. However, his final victim, Meredith Emerson, was the first to be linked to Hilton. His implication in her murder helped solve the others.
Irene Bryant, 84, and John Bryant, 80, disappeared after driving 20 miles from their home to hike and look at fall colors in North Carolina’s Pisgah National Forest on October 21, 2007. The couple had been married for 58 years and loved traveling, hiking, and being outdoors. Their active lifestyle meant that they were sometimes hard to reach, and it took time for their neighbors and family to realize they were missing. Their son Bob reported them missing on November 2. He drove from his home in Texas to North Carolina to help search for his parents and discovered their vehicle at a trailhead parking lot. Investigators subpoenaed telephone and financial records and discovered that Irene had tried to call 911 around 4 p.m. on October 21 but the call didn’t go through. They couldn’t confirm whether the call failed due to lack of service or interference by another person. Financial records showed a bank withdrawal from their account at 7 p.m. the day after Irene attempted the 911 call. Security footage at the bank in Ducktown, Tennessee, 25 miles away from their vehicle, showed a slender man man in a hooded raincoat using the Bryant’s ATM card. Investigators couldn’t identify the person, but it was neither of the Bryants.
Irene’s body was found on November 9, covered with leaves and sticks, just 100 yards from where the couple’s vehicle was parked. She had been killed by a blow to the head and her arms and legs appeared to have also been beaten. Investigators speculated that her attacker had lain in wait on the trail or in the woods just beyond the parking lot.
John’s skeletal remains weren’t found until February 5, 2008 when a hunter stumbled across them.
On October 26, 2007, Hilton was stopped by a sheriff’s deputy while trespassing on private hunting land. Hilton tells the deputy he’s a paratrooper on field maneuvers, and, when asked if he’s carrying any weapons, he shows the officer an expandable police baton. The officer checks for open warrants and then lets him go. However, Hilton did have an open warrant for a minor 1972 offense in Miami, and he should have been detained.
In March 2012, Hilton plead guilty to murdering the Bryants, and he admitted to camping out in the parking lot, scouting for victims. Hilton admitted he had kidnapped Bryant from the parking lot, drove him to the Nantahala National Forest, walked him 30 feet down an embankment, and shot him in the head. It’s believed Hilton wasn’t certain he could control both victims at once, so he chose to kill Irene at the location and then use her death to intimidate and scare John into cooperating and giving him the couple’s ATM PIN number.
In the days before the Bryants’ murders, other hikers reported seeing, talking to, and even photographing and confronting Hilton in the Pisgah National Forest in the area where the Bryants were murdered. Along with pleading guilty of ambushing and killing the Bryants, Hilton also plead to robbery and firearms offenses in their case. He again accepted a plea deal to avoid the death penalty and was remanded to serve four additional life sentences consecutively with the life sentence already handed down for Emerson’s murder.
The Bryants are Hilton’s first known victims, although he was sentenced in their cases after being tried for his later crimes.
Cheryl Hodges Dunlap, 46, was a mother of two grown sons and a nurse and Sunday school teacher, She was last seen alive on December 1, 2007. She had gone hiking alone in Apalachicola National Forest in the Florida panhandle just outside Tallahassee at about 9 a.m. Friends reported her missing after she failed to show up to teach her Sunday school class on December 2 or arrive at work on Monday morning, December 3. Three days after she disappeared her car was found with a flat tire, parked on the shoulder of Highway 319 just outside of the national forest. A search of the area revealed nothing of use. However, an investigation into her digital footprint discovered bank withdrawals.
A little over a week after she went missing, authorities released surveillance photos of a man successfully using Dunlap’s ATM card to withdraw money on December 2, 3, and 4, the three days immediately following her disappearance. Police could not identify him because he was wearing a rubber mask, gloves, and hat. Detectives staked out the ATM machine for the next week, but the man never returned.
Dunlap’s decapitated remains were discovered near Bloxham Cutoff Road in the Apalachicola National Forest on December 15 by hunters who noticed the presence of buzzards. Because her head and hands were missing, it took a DNA sample to confirm that the remains were hers.
Hilton was proven to be in the area when and where Dunlap disappeared because a forestry agent had run his vehicle tag number through the police database on December 7. After Dunlap’s body was found, a hunter also reported coming into contact with Hilton in the forest—driving a white van, wielding a knife and appearing disheveled or homeless. The hunter said he’d warned Hilton that the woods was a bad place to be during hunting season. This interaction allowed the hunter to identify Hilton in a photo lineup. A forestry agent had also questioned Hilton on November 17, 2007 and run his white van’s tag number through a database to ensure it wasn’t stolen. On December 28, another forestry agent interacted with Hilton in Osceola National Forest, about 160 miles from where Dunlap was last seen. Those sightings proved Hilton had been in the area before and then left after Dunlap’s murder. The final item of proof was one of Dunlap’s boots, which Hilton was attempting to discard in the dumpster with Emerson’s belongings when he was initially arrested.
Investigators believed Hilton kidnapped Dunlap from the Leon Sinks Geological Area of Apalachicola National Forest, where friends said she had mentioned going to read a book. He likely kept her alive for a few days in order to get money from her ATM card, finally killing her. Investigators say he burned her head and hands in his campfire, then left her vehicle by the road after puncturing the tire with his police baton. There was no physical evidence tying him to the crime, but investigators were able to recover audio tapes on which Hilton had recorded himself talking crudely about women and referencing killing women and hiding things. He said he was a sociopath who could disassociate from the act of murder.
Hilton was indicted on Thursday, February 28, 2008 for Dunlap’s murder, kidnapping, and two counts of grand theft. He was found guilty by a unanimous jury in February 2011 and sentenced to death. He unsuccessfully appealed the conviction.
Dunlap was Hilton’s third known victim; he was sentenced in her case after being tried and found guilty for murdering his last-known victim, Meredith Emerson.
Meredith Emerson, 24, was last seen alive on New Year’s Day 2008, with her dog, a black Labrador retriever mix named Ella. The pair had left home in Buford, Georgia, to hike one of their favorite trails on Blood Mountain. The location is the highest peak in Georgia’s section of the Appalachian Trail and is located on the border of Lumpkin and Union counties inside the Blood Mountain Wilderness and the Chattahoochee National Forest.
Concerned after she didn’t return home, Emerson’s friends and boyfriend reported her absence to local police. She was classified as an overdue hiker. The next day, friends and authorities searched the area where Emerson and Ella had been hiking but did not find either of them. A winter storm moved in that day, and authorities had to halt the search.
After her disappearance made news, witnesses came forward to claim that they’d seen her hiking with an older man, approximately 60 years old with a red dog, on a spur trail that connects the Appalachian Trail to the Byron Herbert Reece Parking Lot. One caller was a former police officer. He reported that while hiking he’d discovered a police baton, water bottles, sunglasses, a barrette, and a dog leash and treats scattered over an area of disturbed and scuffed ground. He had seen an older man with a police baton walking with a younger woman minutes before finding the items, and he recognized the leash as the one the young woman had been holding. At first, he’d thought they were father and daughter, but the scattered belongings and evidence of a struggle concerned him. While there, he talked with another group of hikers who had seen the man hiding in the woods, but they were unable to locate him after a short search. They gathered the scattered items and left them at a local store, but they didn’t call police at the time. The next day after seeing a report on TV about Emerson’s disappearance, the former officer called investigators to report what he’d seen and found the day before.
Also on January 2, John Tabor, a former employer of Hilton’s, called police to let them know Hilton matched the description of the man seen with Emerson on the trail. He said Hilton had called him a few hours before and had apologized for acting erratically and violently toward him, asked him for money, and told him he was near Blood Mountain. He’d asked Tabor to leave him a check at a business Tabor owned, but he never came to collect the check. Investigators noted that Tabor hadn’t called them immediately to inform them of Hilton’s similarity to the suspect or his proximity to the possible kidnapping.
Police also recovered surveillance images of Hilton unsuccessfully attempting to use Emerson’s ATM card. Investigators had hope that Emerson was still alive and they were now sure she was with Hilton, so they disseminated Hilton’s DMV photo to the media.
On January 4, another witness called police to report that he had encountered an older man and young woman camping near a white van. The witness was driving a lawn care truck when he got it stuck in a stream. He asked the older man for help, but he’d refused. The witness said it seemed like the man was trying to keep him away from the van. When the witness called police dispatch to ask for help getting his vehicle unstuck, the man quickly packed up and left the area in a seeming rush.
That same day, Ella was found wandering in a grocery store parking lot in the town of Cumming, Georgia, about 60 miles away from Emerson’s last-known whereabouts. Investigators also discovered bloody clothing, bloody men’s boots, and Emerson’s purse and wallet in a dumpster across the street from the store where Ella was located. A boot, later confirmed to belong to Hilton’s third victim, Cheryl Dunlap, was also recovered from the dumpster.
Later that evening, a witness called 911 to report that Hilton—whom he recognized as the suspect in Emerson’s disappearance from news reports—was at a local gas station cleaning out a white van. Police arrived and prevented Hilton from using a vacuum cleaner and bleach on the van’s interior; they also discovered bloody clothing and blankets he had attempted to discard in the gas station trash receptacles. Blood in the vehicle was later matched to Emerson, and Hilton was charged with her murder.
During almost five hours of interrogations, Hilton admitted that Emerson fought back against him when he attacked her, yelling and using her martial arts skills to fend him off (she’d earned a blue belt in aikido and was posthumously awarded a black belt). He said that she almost got away, but that he was finally able to subdue her when she lost her footing and stumbled. He said he’d chosen to attack her because she was a woman, and that they’d hiked together for a while before she outpaced him. He then stopped and waited for her down the trail, planning to rob her of her ATM card when she was returning to her vehicle. He admitted to taking Emerson from the parking lot in his van, returning at her request a few minutes later to pick up Ella, who had initially been left behind. He drove her to multiple banks and unsuccessfully attempted to use her ATM; police believed she was intentionally giving him wrong PIN numbers to buy time. Unfortunately, no one at the banks or law enforcement noticed the failed transactions or attempted use of Emerson’s ATM cards until January 4.
Eventually Hilton gave up and drove Emerson to a secluded location where, for three days, she continued to give him incorrect ATM PIN codes in an apparent attempt to give rescuers time to find her. Hilton told investigators that he tired of waiting for the correct PIN number, so he told Emerson he was taking her home; however, he admitted that he knew he couldn’t release her since she’d seen his face and vehicle and knew so much about him. Instead, while she was tied to a tree, he hit her over the head repeatedly with a car jack handle to kill her, and then he decapitated her. He covered her body with leaves, then drove to another wooded area more than an hour away, where he discarded her head. He said he was unable to kill Ella and decided to let her go. Disturbingly, in that same interview, when asked about whether it was hard for him to kill Emerson, Hilton stated, “It was hard … you gotta remember we had spent several good days together.”
Hilton offered to lead investigators to Emerson’s body if they’d agree to remove the death penalty option. An autopsy confirmed Hilton’s story: her cause of death was officially listed as blunt force trauma to the head, and she’d been decapitated postmortem.
He plead guilty to Emerson’s murder on January 30, 2008, and he was sentenced to life in prison with the possibility of parole after 30 years.
The case was in the news again in 2010 when a writer for Hustler magazine submitted a request for crime scene photos for use in an article about Emerson’s kidnapping and murder. A judge blocked the request, preventing the Georgia Bureau of Investigation from releasing "any and all photographs, visual images or depictions of Meredith Emerson which show Emerson in an unclothed or dismembered state.” The Georgia House also passed The Meredith Emerson Memorial Privacy Act, preventing “gruesome crime scene photos from being publicly released or disseminated.” The Act, House Bill 1322, stops the release of all images in which victims of crimes appear “nude, bruised, bloodied or in a broken state with open wounds, a state of dismemberment or decapitation.”
Hilton’s involvement in Emerson’s kidnapping and murder drew the attention of investigators in other states. While she is believed to be his last victim, the successful investigation into her case resulted in his guilty pleas and sentencing for three other murders. A series of other unsolved crimes is also being investigated for ties to Hilton.

Possible Victims
Melissa Witt, 19, disappeared from the parking lot of a local bowling alley in Fort Smith, Arkansas on December 1, 1994. On January 13, 1995, her body was found by hunters in a rural area of the same county from where she disappeared. She was naked, and her remains were near a rock that’s been described as headstone-like. Her clothing was never located. Some investigators believe that there are similarities between Witt’s disappearance and death and those of Hilton’s known victims.
Judy Smith, 50, is considered a possible victim of Hilton’s because her remains were found near the location where Hilton would bludgeon Irene Bryant a decade later. Smith was last confirmed to have been seen by her husband, Jeffrey, at a Philadelphia hotel on April 10, 1997. The couple flew from their home in Newton, Massachusetts to Philadelphia the day before so that Jeffrey could attend a work conference. After arriving at the airport, Judy discovered she had left her identification at home and would not be able to board the plane. She returned home to retrieve her ID and took a later flight, meeting Jeffrey at their hotel. She planned to go sightseeing while Jeffrey was attending the conference, and Jeffrey confirmed she’d been alive and in their room that next morning. That evening, after the conference meetings had ended for the day, Jeffery could not find Judy. He searched for her and tried to report her missing around midnight, but investigators told him he needed to wait 24 hours.
During the ensuing investigation, there were a number of sightings of a woman matching Judy’s description in and around Philadelphia, several of which seemed to describe a person experiencing psychological problems or acting disoriented or disturbed. Other possible sightings were of a woman matching Judy’s description riding the bus, shopping at a mall, and sitting outside a gourmet grocery store. The Smith family found some of the descriptions and sightings credible.
On September 7, 1997, about five months after Smith was last confirmed to have been seen, hunters in the Pisgah National Forest about 9 miles from Asheville, North Carolina discovered scattered bones around a shallow grave. Some clothing and personal effects were also located. Cut marks and punctures found on the ribs and clothing suggested the victim had been stabbed. The remains were confirmed to be those of Judy Smith. Strangely, the clothes she was discovered wearing were not any she was known to have owned or reported by witnesses, and the family has no explanation for why or how she got to or was in Asheville. Later reports found that people in the Asheville area had seen Judy or a woman who resembled her. The sightings were deemed credible, but no one claimed to have seen Judy with anyone else. Money and jewelry was found near Judy’s body and belongings, so robbery was ruled out as a motive. Investigators came to believe Smith traveled to Asheville voluntarily, but they’re unsure of why or what happened to her while there. Hilton has been suggested as a possible suspect, but investigators have not publicly linked him to Smith’s case or named as a suspect.
Levi Frady, 11, was abducted from Little Mill Road in Forsyth County, Georgia, on October 22, 1997. The next day his remains were found partially submerged in a rainwater-filled pit in Dawson Forest Wildlife Management Area in Dawson County, Georgia. He had been shot three times, once in the chest and twice in the head. Investigators consider Frady’s case open and active. Some have hinted Hilton is considered a suspect, but he has not been publicly named.
In April 1998, Jason Knapp, 20, disappeared. He was a student at Clemson University, and he was last known to have been seen by his roommate at around 10:30 p.m. on April 11, watching a movie at their residence. His vehicle was found on April 21 at Table Rock State Park in Pickens, South Carolina. The area is about 30 miles from the university and is very rugged. Investigators found a Wendy’s restaurant receipt inside the vehicle dated April 12 at 1:30 p.m. It is believed he drove to the park on April 12. He had also withdrawn $20 from his bank account that day; his bank cards, including an ATM card, were never found. The area around his vehicle showed no signs of struggle or foul play, and it is unknown whether he drove to the location alone. Searchers canvassed the area around his vehicle for two weeks and found nothing of interest.
Patrice Endres, 38, disappeared from her hair salon in Cumming, Georgia, between 11:30 a.m. and noon on April 15, 2004. She vanished during a gap of about 12 minutes between clients. The front door of the salon was unlocked and the cash register was empty, but there was money in her purse. Her lunch was in the microwave and her vehicle was parked at the salon.
Her skeletal remains were found in December 2005 behind a church about 10 miles from her salon. A woman came forward with a description of a man in a white van parked in front of the salon, but she later recanted the story. Serial killer Jeremy Brian Jones admitted to killing Endres and dumping her body in Sweetwater Creek in Douglas County, but authorities ruled him out as a suspect after her remains were found 70 miles from that location and when he couldn’t provide any additional information that wasn’t in the public record. Authorities looked at Hilton’s possible involvement, but they say he is no longer considered a suspect. There is no information as to why investigators have ruled him out.
Rossana Miliani, 29, lived in Miami, Florida, and disappeared while vacationing in Cherokee, North Carolina. She was last confirmed to have been seen at about noon on December 7, 2005, in the hotel where she was staying. She called her father and told him she was going hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Some reports say she was spotted in Bryson City, NC, where she rented a storage space, shortly before disappearing. Miliani is reported to have bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, but no details are available about whether she was on medication or if she was experiencing any issues at the time of her disappearance.
On the two-year anniversary of her disappearance, a clerk at a local store read an article about Miliani and called investigators to report that she’d sold a backpack or bag, possibly a sleeping bag according to some sources, to Miliani and a man who claimed to be a traveling preacher who visited campsites around the Appalachian Trail. According to the clerk, the man was about 60 years old, had hair greying at the temples and may have been wearing a hair piece because his hair looked unusual. The clerk claimed that Miliani appeared to be nervous.
A private investigator working on the case released a sketch of the unidentified man in June 2009. The man resembles Hilton, and he’s considered a possible suspect. Neither Miliani nor any of her belongings, including luggage and a camera, have been found; no money has been withdrawn from her bank account since her disappearance, but a deposit was made on December 31, nearly three weeks after her disappearance. No further information is available about that deposit.
Some sources say Hilton is known to have stolen and unsuccessfully tried to use Miliani’s bank card, but I was unable to find official corroboration of those reports.
A fisherman found the remains of Michael Scot Louis, 27, dismembered and stuffed in plastic garbage bags, in the Tomoka River at Ormond Beach, Tomoka State Park, Florida on December 6, 2007. His torso and legs were recovered, but his head has never been found. Louis was last known to have been seen on November 21 or 22, 2007, but when his remains were found 16 days later, the autopsy estimated he had only been dead for two to seven days. It’s unclear where he was or who he may have been with during the days he was unaccounted for. Days after his disappearance, his Firebird was found parked unusually far from his apartment in the apartment complex’s parking lot in South Daytona, Florida, with the keys still in the ignition and his dirty laundry and guitars inside.
Hilton was officially ruled out as a suspect after DNA testing did not implicate him, but some thought he should remain on the list as a potential suspect. In January 2018, Nelci Tetley, 67, was arrested for shooting to death and dismembering her then-boyfriend, Jeffrey Albertsman, 55. It was discovered that she had possibly also dated Louis, although she denied knowing him or having a relationship with him, and she’s been named as a suspect in his case.
University of Georgia student Cayle Bywater disappeared from Athens, Georgia on December 29, 2007. She was reported missing after neighbors became concerned when her dog was seen running loose outside her home. Meredith Emerson would be kidnapped three days later from Vogel State Park, about 80 miles north of Athens.
On January 11, Bywater’s body was found in an Athens lake. An autopsy listed drowning as her cause of death, but there’s disagreement about how she came to be in the lake. There were no traces of illegal drugs or alcohol in her system, but she had been prescribed medication to treat a mental disorder, reported by some agencies as bipolar disorder. The autopsy also found a previously undiagnosed heart defect, but that could not be proven to have played a part in her death.
A photograph taken by an undisclosed individual the day she was last seen alive shows Bywater in Memorial Park walking her dog on leash. Witnesses claim to have seen someone matching Bywater’s appearance walking a dog in the park near the lake where her body was later found, and some said she appeared to be disoriented or chasing the dog. No signs of foul play were discovered on her body or at the scene, but her family insists she did not wander off or commit suicide. In a news article dated January 8, 2008, (https://www.savannahnow.com/article/20080108/news/301089882) her family was concerned that she may have been kidnapped by someone who saw her in a disoriented or confused state and took advantage of the situation. That same news article mentions the kidnapping of Meredith Emerson by Gary Michael Hilton but quotes an investigator as saying the local police department and Georgia Bureau of Investigation did not consider the cases related at that point. It’s unknown if Hilton is now or was ever considered a suspect in Bywater’s case.
Are there more? There are dozens of unsolved cases of missing and murdered people in the areas where Hilton was known to or may have traveled or lived. Someone put together this Google Map detailing known and possible victims of Hilton: https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=1v-4PyOHDjE17GhkF6ofEvFWtLes&hl=en&gl=us&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&z=5&ll=34.77220536527494%2C-83.37685848300629 . It’s a very interesting rabbit hole. I’m unsure who created the map or what criteria they used to include possible victims. If anyone on this sub has information about the creation of this map, please let me know and I’ll include more details.

What Don’t We Know? Discussion and Theories
Knowing what we do about Hilton and the crimes for which he was convicted, it’s hard to believe that Emerson, Dunlap, and the Bryants are his only victims. Investigators have pointed out that it’s rare for a serial killer to start killing in their 60s, and Hilton’s crimes seem to be the work of a confident killer. His lack of victimology—targeting victims based on opportunity rather than sticking to a certain type of person—and his large geographic footprint, transient lifestyle, lack of family and friends, and remote hunting grounds all point to the possibility that he’s been active for a lot longer than the short spree of four known victims.
There are so many missing people and unsolved homicides in the southeast corner of the United States that it’s not hard to think Hilton may be responsible for some of them.
What are your thoughts or theories?

A note of thanks: u/cspach2005 invited me to do this write-up on Hilton for an upcoming podcast on www.disturbedpodcast.com. They covered my previous write-up on Timothy Bindner (https://www.reddit.com/UnresolvedMysteries/comments/g2mh3i/hes_been_a_suspect_in_the_disappearances_of_at/) in this podcast, https://www.disturbedpodcast.com/bindne, so I was thrilled to contribute again. I’ll add a link to the podcast episode on Hilton once it’s done.

Resources:
Park Predators podcast about Hilton: https://parkpredators.com/episode-1-the-hunte
YouTube video of Georgia Bureau of Investigation interview with Hilton (4.5 hours): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9Tw1iejmzc
ThoughtCo blog from July 14, 2019 about Hilton’s crimes: https://www.thoughtco.com/the-gary-michael-hilton-case-971046
Murderpedia entry for Hilton, including text from news articles: https://murderpedia.org/male.H/h/hilton-gary-michael.htm
Timeline of Hilton’s life and crimes: http://prairiechicken.blogspot.com/2008/02/gary-michael-hilton-timeline.html
Strange Outdoors article from January 23, 2018 about Hilton and his victims: https://www.strangeoutdoors.com/mysterious-stories-blog/2018/1/22/gary-michael-hilton-the-hiker-murders
CNN article from 2008 detailing how Hilton helped make a movie about a serial killer: https://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/03/13/hilton.movie/index.html
Wikipedia article: Murder of Meredith Emerson: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Meredith_Emerson
March 23, 2008 article detailing Hilton’s confession and Emerson’s fight to survive: http://www.nbcnews.com/id/23769881/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/t/killer-says-female-hiker-fought-him-end/
March 11, 201 article about judge barring release of crime scene photos in Emerson’s case: http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/03/10/meredith.emerson.photos/index.html
August 2012 opinion piece by the journalist who requested Emerson crime scene photos explaining why he did so: https://www.ajc.com/news/opinion/why-requested-slain-hiker-crime-scene-photos/2PmN2O3oTCOJKq7mBuvgfL/
Wikipedia article about the Judy Smith case: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judy_Smith_homicide
Rossana Miliani Charley Project profile: http://charleyproject.org/case/rossana-miliani
Article from December 17, 2007 about remains found in Florida, possibly linking them to Cheryl Dunlap: https://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=4010778&page=1
Article from February 28, 2008, announcing Hilton’s indictment in the case of Dunlap: http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/02/28/hilton.indictment/index.html
March 27, 2012 article about Hilton pleading guilty to the Byrants’ murders: https://www.blueridgenow.com/article/NC/20120327/news/606022032/HT
May 17, 2008 article detailing John Bryant’s autopsy findings: https://www.blueridgenow.com/article/NC/20080517/News/606047031/HT
January 4, 2018 article about the Bryants: https://www.ajc.com/news/local/tragic-end-for-unique-couple/PzAHQbeBqHLPzNjGei0nAJ/
December 23, 2007 article about memorial service for Michael Scot Louis: https://www.news-journalonline.com/article/LK/20071223/news/180117745/DN
January 24, 2018 article about Nelci Tetley’s arrest, possible implication in Louis’ death: https://heavy.com/news/2018/01/nelci-tetley-accused-dismembering-killing-boyfriends/
January 13, 2017 article commemorating the 22nd anniversary of Melissa Witt’s unsolved disappearance and murder: https://www.5newsonline.com/article/news/local/outreach/back-to-school/melissa-witts-body-found-22-years-ago-investigation-still-open/527-5556593c-22df-4077-b6c3-e7fd7f041f33
Jason Knapp’s Charley Project profile: http://charleyproject.org/case/jason-andrew-knapp
April 4, 2010 article about Patrice Endres’ disappearance and murder: https://www.forsythnews.com/local/crime-courts/husband-seeks-closure-in-cold-case/
Google Map detailing known and possible victims of Hilton: https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=1v-4PyOHDjE17GhkF6ofEvFWtLes&hl=en&gl=us&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&z=5&ll=34.77220536527494%2C-83.37685848300629 (I did not create this map, nor do I know who did or what criteria they used when choosing which possible victims to include. I’ll gladly edit the post to include that information if someone knows more details about the map’s creator or creation.)
submitted by lisagreenhouse to UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 21:25 throwaway_6267 Confused After 3 Months

Hi all- I wondered if I could get some general dating advice.
I am a gay female. I grew up in a conservative area and have only really dated in the last 2 years-ish. Mostly app dating. Currently seeing girl for 3 months. We got really close. I struggle with intimacy/closeness- actively seeking help for this ie therapy, books, friends, reddit advice.
She and I were hanging a lot for the first 2 months. Then she left on a trip, had a friend stay w her, started a new job. She stopped wearing a necklace I gave her, returned my plaid shirt, and has been nearly impossible to pin down for plans. But she's still leaving things at my house. In the past we would usually name a time/day and alternatives if it didn't work out. Now, she'll say she never knows what she's doing within 24 hours and can't be that consistent. Yet she'll still want me to call/text her.
I told her I've felt a shift and she rolls her eyes, gets defensive and tells me she can't always be available, I said no to a Monday hang due to work, and we settled on Tues. She then texted me a bunch of flirty stuff, and really pushed to come over Mon. I still said no. She came over Tues, and I spent almost all of Wed with her even though I was supposed to be working remotely. I asked her about Friday plans and got the same vague response "Idk yet."
Last night I was literally watching her clean paint brushes on facetime, and i just thought, what am I doing? This is boring af. What the actual hell am I doing rn? I had a similar feeling when I should have been working. I get the sense....as much as she talks about wanting to be connected/with me, that she's playing me. Yet, when I've suggested making this casual, she'll say she wants connection.
Wondering if anyone at all has any advice? There are some intense feelings going. Does anyone have any advice for riding this out in a way that doesn't make me feel kind of crazy? I'm trying to take it less seriously...
submitted by throwaway_6267 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 19:54 Brother_Moloch_969 List of Academic Resources for Pre-1800's Magic & Sorcery (Books, Websites, Blogs & Etc.)

Cross-posted from Magick.
Greetings. Several years ago, I along with some friends (Aaron Leitch, Jake Stratton-Kent, Frater Rufus Opus, and many others) contributed to a list we thought would be a great resource for studying Magic & Sorcery with academic elements listed prior to the 1800's new age movement. Here you will find a lot of useful information and realize this list is NOT complete because since the time we created this list, more academic material has emerged on the market. Also realize these books are not often found free on the Net in pdf form so you will have to do like the rest of us had to do which is purchase them - if you want them. I got many of these books in used condition from Amazon, AbeBooks, Half-Price Books, and so forth. Getting these materials & studying them will seriously up your magical game. Enjoy!
8o) Br Moloch 9.6.9.
Books:
  1. The Greek Magical Papyri in Translation: Including the Demotic Spells: Texts (Volume 1)” by Hans Dieter Betz - This is a collection of magical spells and formulas, hymns, and rituals from Greco-Roman Egypt, dating from the second century B.C. to the fifth century A.D. A must read.
  2. Curse Tablets and Binding Spells from the Ancient World” edited by John G. Gager - In the ancient Greco-Roman world, it was common practice to curse or bind an enemy or rival by writing an incantation on a tablet and dedicating it to a god or spirit. These curses or binding spells, commonly called defixiones were intended to bring other people under the power and control of those who commissioned them
  3. Magika Hiera: Ancient Greek Magic and Religion” edited by Christopher A. Faraone & Dirk Obbink - This collection challenges the tendency among scholars of ancient Greece to see magical and religious ritual as mutually exclusive and to ignore "magical" practices in Greek religion. The contributors survey specific bodies of archaeological, epigraphical, and papyrological evidence for magical practices in the Greek world, and, in each case, determine whether the traditional dichotomy between magic and religion helps in any way to conceptualize the objective features of the evidence examined.
  4. Arcana Mundi: Magic and the Occult in the Greek and Roman Worlds: A Collection of Ancient Texts” by Georg Luck - Magic, miracles, daemonology, divination, astrology, and alchemy were the arcana mundi, the "secrets of the universe," of the ancient Greeks and Romans. In this path-breaking collection of Greek and Roman writings on magic and the occult, Georg Luck provides a comprehensive sourcebook and introduction to magic as it was practiced by witches and sorcerers, magi and astrologers, in the Greek and Roman worlds.
  5. Greek and Roman Necromancy” by Daniel Ogden - In classical antiquity, there was much interest in necromancy--the consultation of the dead for divination. People could seek knowledge from the dead by sleeping on tombs, visiting oracles, and attempting to reanimate corpses and skulls. Ranging over many of the lands in which Greek and Roman civilizations flourished, including Egypt, from the Greek archaic period through the late Roman empire, this book is the first comprehensive survey of the subject ever published in any language.
  6. Forbidden Rites: A Necromancer's Manual of the Fifteenth Century” by Richard Kieckhefer - Like many medieval texts for the use of magicians, this handbook is a miscellany rather than a systematic treatise. It is exceptional, however, in the scope and variety of its contents—prayers and conjurations, rituals of sympathetic magic, procedures involving astral magic, a catalogue of spirits, lengthy ceremonies for consecrating a book of magic, and other materials.
  7. Ritual Magic” by Elizabeth M. Butler - In this classic book (first published in 1949), Butler explores ritual magic using a wide range of texts from the pre-Christian rites of the Akkadians and Chaldeans to the Solomonic Clavicles of medieval Europe. Throughout, there is extensive quotation from the documents themselves, providing the reader with an authentic sense of the richness and power of these texts.
  8. Conjuring Spirits: Texts and Traditions of Medieval Ritual Magic” edited by Claire Fanger - Included are chapters by Richard Kieckhefer and Robert Mathiesen on the Sworn Book of Honorius, Michael Camille on the Ars Notoria, John B. Friedman on the Secretum Philosophorum, Nicholas Watson on the McMaster text, and Elizabeth Wade on Lullian divination. The work also includes Juris Lidaka's edition of the Liber de Angelis, and an overview of late medieval English ritual manuscripts by Frank Klaassen.
  9. The Fortunes of Faust” by Elizabeth M. Butler - Butler follows the magic tradition of the Magus—the priest-king—and its reformulation in the Christian world. In the process, the Magus was transformed into a wicked sorcerer who comes to a bad end in this world and a worse one hereafter. This conception, which gained ground in the Middle Ages, received its most categorical statement in the Faust legend.
  10. The Goetia of Dr. Rudd” by David Rankine & Stephen Skinner - The Goetia of Dr. Rudd explains how the 72 angels of the Shemhamphorash are used to evoke and safely bind demons—material that has not been made available in any previous edition. This rare volume contains a transcription of a hitherto unpublished manuscript of the Lemegeton and includes illustrations drawn from rare manuscripts held in the British Library.
  11. The Complete Magician’s Tables” by Stephen Skinner - The sources of this remarkable compilation range from classic grimoires such as the Sworn Book to modern theories of prime numbers and atomic weights. Data from Peter de Abano, Abbott Trithemium, Albertus Magnus, Cornelius Agrippa, and other prominent scholars is referenced here, in addition to hidden gems found in unpublished medieval grimoires and Kabbalistic works.
  12. The Keys to the Gateway of Magic: Summoning the Solomonic Archangels and Demon Princes” by Stephen Skinner & David Rankine - This classic text of the Nine Great Keys details the invocation of the Archangels, the full hierarchy of spiritual beings (including Olympic Spirits and Elementals) and the evocation of the four Demon Princes
  13. Three Books of Occult Philosophy” by Henry Cornelius Agrippa & edited by Donald Tyson - How magicians collect virtues from the three-fold World, is declared in these three books. Seeing there is a three-fold World, Elementary, Celestial, and Intellectual, and every inferior is governed by its superior. Indispensable.
  14. The Complete Picatrix: The Occult Classic Of Astrological Magic Liber Atratus” translated by John Michael Greer & Christopher Warnock - The Picatrix is the most famous grimoire of astrological magic and one of the most important works of medieval and Renaissance magic. With all four books of the Latin Picatrix complete in one volume, the Picatrix is an encyclopedic work with over 300 pages of Hermetic magical philosophy, ritual, talismanic and natural magic.
  15. Secrets of the Magical Grimoires Revealed” by Aaron Leitch - The magickal methods and esoteric knowledge of medieval Europe (476 to 1453 C.E.) form the ancestral backbone of modern ceremonial magick. To understand medieval magick, it’s necessary to know the primary repositories of this knowledge - the grimoires of spells, incantations, and ritual instructions for working with angels and conjuring spirits. And to understand the grimoires, you must delve into the life and times of the magicians who wrote them.
  16. The True Grimoire” by Jake Kent-Stratton - The True Grimoire is a major contribution to the practice and study of Goetic magic. The neglected Grimorium Verum has been restored to it's rightful place as a potent and coherent system of Goetic magic. Jake Stratton-Kent has reconstructed a working version from the corrupted Italian and French versions of this important grimoire.
  17. Geosophia: The Argo of Magic” by Jake Stratton-Kent - Geosophia traces the development of magic from the Greeks to the grimoires, laying bare the chthonic roots of goetic ritual. By exposing the necromantic origins of much of modern magic we are able to reconnect with the source of our ritual tradition. There is a continuity of practice in the West which encompasses the pre-Olympian cults of Dionysus and Cybele, is found in the Greek Magical Papyri and Picatrix and flows into the grimoires.
  18. "Ancient Christian Magic: Coptic Texts of Ritual Power" by Marvin W. Meyer & Richard Smith - This provocative collection of rites, spells, amulets, curses, and recipes of the early Coptic Christians documents Christianity as a living folk religion resembling other popular belief systems - something quite different from what theological and doctrinal traditions have led us to believe.
  19. Invoking Angels: Theurgic Ideas and Practices, Thirteenth to Sixteenth Centuries” edited by Claire Fanger - Bring0s together a tightly themed collection of essays on late medieval and early modern texts concerned with the role of angels in the cosmos, focusing on angelic rituals and spiritual cosmologies. Collectively, these essays tie medieval angel magic texts more clearly to medieval religion and to the better-known author-magicians of the early modern period.
  20. The Testament of Cyprian the Mage” by Jake Stratton-Kent - An ambitious and far-seeing work, addressing two ends of the magical spectrum: the Testament of Solomon and one version of the Iberian Book of Saint Cyprian. In doing so, key aspects of magical practice are revealed. This work draws upon these texts to create a clear understanding of the practice of grimoire magic, not as a discrete or degenerate subset of ceremonial magic, but one which is integrated with folk magic and witchcraft.
  21. Veritable Key of Solomon” by Stephen Skinner & David Rankine - Based on one of the best-known grimoires of the Western world, The Veritable Key of Solomon presents all aspects of this revered magical system in one impressive source.
  22. The Magical Treatise of Solomon, or Hygromanteia” by Ioannis Marathakis - The true source of the Key of Solomon, it is arguably the most significant magical text in the world. For the first time ever, this extraordinary work has been translated from the original Greek into English.
  23. Magic, Witchcraft and Ghosts in the Greek and Roman World: A Sourcebook” by Daniel Ogden - Contains three hundred texts in new translations, along with brief but explicit commentaries. Alongside descriptions of sorcerers, witches, and ghosts in the works of ancient writers, it reproduces curse tablets, spells from ancient magical recipe books, and inscriptions from magical amulets.
  24. Ancient Jewish Magic: A History” by Gideon Bohak - Gives a pioneering account of the broad history of ancient Jewish magic, from the Second Temple to the rabbinic period. It is based both on ancient magicians' own compositions and products in Aramaic, Hebrew and Greek, and on the descriptions and prescriptions of non-magicians, to reconstruct a historical picture that is as balanced and nuanced as possible.
  25. John Dee's Natural Philosophy: Between Science and Religion” by Nicholas Clulee - Thoroughly examining Dee’s natural philosophy, this book provides a balanced evaluation of his place, and the role of the occult, in sixteenth-century intellectual history. It brings together insights from a study of Dee’s writings, the available biographical material, and his sources as reflected in his extensive library and, more importantly, numerous surviving annotated volumes from it.
  26. Grimoires: A History of Magic Books” by Owen Davies - Put simply, grimoires are books of spells that were first recorded in the Ancient Middle East and which have developed and spread across much of the Western Hemisphere and beyond over the ensuing millennia. At their most benign, they contain charms and remedies for natural and supernatural ailments and advice on contacting spirits to help find treasures and protect from evil. But at their most sinister they provide instructions on how to manipulate people for corrupt purposes and, worst of all, to call up and make a pact with the Devil. Both types have proven remarkably resilient and adaptable and retain much of their relevance and fascination to this day.
  27. The Language of Demons and Angels: Cornelius Agrippa's Occult Philosophy” by Christopher I. Lehrich - The analysis walks the reader through the text of De Occulta Philosophia, Agrippa's 1533 masterpiece, explicating the often hidden structure and argument of the work.
  28. Thrice-Greatest Hermes; Studies in Hellenistic Theosophy and Gnosis” by G. R. S. Mead - Three Volumes bound into one. Volume contents are: Vol. 1. Prolegomena. -- Vol. 2. Sermons. -- Vol. 3. Excerpts and fragments.
  29. The Egyptian Hermes: A Historical Approach to the Late Pagan Mind” by Garth Fowden - Starting from the complex fusions and tensions that molded Graeco-Egyptian culture, and in particular Hermetism, during the centuries after Alexander, the author argues that the technical and philosophical Hermetica, apparently so different, might be seen as aspects of a single "way of Hermes".
  30. Restless Dead: Encounters between the Living and the Dead in Ancient Greece” by Sarah Illes Johnston - Topics of focus include the origin of the goes (the ritual practitioner who made interaction with the dead his specialty), the threat to the living presented by the ghosts of those who died dishonorably or prematurely, the development of Hecate into a mistress of ghosts and its connection to female rites of transition, and the complex nature of the Erinyes.
  31. Hekate Soteira: A Study of Hekate's Roles in the Chaldean Oracles and Related Literature” by Sarah Illes Johnston - Hekate is best known to classicists and historians of religion as the horrific patroness of witches. But from the Hellenistic age onward, some Greek and Roman philosophers and magicians portrayed her quite differently.
  32. Magic and Ritual in the Ancient World” edited by Paul Mirecki and Marvin Meyer.
  33. Marsilio Ficino: His Theology, His Philosophy, His Legacy” edited by V. Rees, Michael J. B. Allen & Valery Rees - This volume consists of 21 essays on Marsilio Ficino (1433-99), the great Florentine scholar, philosopher and priest who was the architect of Renaissance Platonism and whose long-lasting influence on philosophy, love and music theory, medicine and magic extended across Europe.
  34. Secrets of Nature: Astrology and Alchemy in Early Modern Europe” edited by William R. Newman & Anthony Grafton - Shows the many ways in which astrology and alchemy diverge as well as intersect. Overall, it shows how an appreciation of the role of the occult opens up new ways of understanding the past.
  35. Trithemius and Magical Theology: A Chapter in the Controversy over Occult Studies in Early Modern Europe” by Noel L. Brann - This is a very useful, exciting and informative text for those interested in the philosophy and theology behind Renaissance Magic. Mentor to Agrippa, pioneer of cryptography, Trithemius is one of the most important (and well-placed in Church history) yet difficult to understand of the great Renaissance writers on magic, and this book provides a detailed but readable introduction to his views on the subject.
  36. John Dee's Conversations with Angels” by Deborah E. Harkness - John Dee's angel conversations have been an enigmatic facet of Elizabethan England's most famous natural philosopher's life and work. Professor Harkness contextualizes Dee's angel conversations within the natural philosophical, religious and social contexts of his time. She argues that they represent a continuing development of John Dee's earlier concerns and interests. These conversations include discussions of the natural world, the practice of natural philosophy, and the apocalypse.
  37. John Dee's Occultism: Magical Exaltation Through Powerful Signs” by Gyorgy E. Szonyi - Presents an analysis of Renaissance occultism and its place in the chronology of European cultural history. Culling examples of "magical thinking" from classical, medieval, and Renaissance philosophers, Szonyi revisits the body of Dee's own scientific and spiritual writings as reflective sources of traditional mysticism.
  38. The Arch Conjuror of England: John Dee” by Glyn Parry - Explores Dee’s vast array of political, magical, and scientific writings and finds that they cast significant new light on policy struggles in the Elizabethan court, conservative attacks on magic, and Europe's religious wars. John Dee was more than just a fringe magus, Parry shows Dee was a major figure of the Reformation and Renaissance.
  39. The Eternal Hermes: From Greek God to Alchemical Magus” by Antoine Favre - Drawing upon rare books and manuscripts, this highly illustrated work explores the question of where Hermes Trismegistus came from how he came to be a patron of the esoteric traditions and how the figure of Hermes has remained lively and inspiring to our own day.
  40. Glamorous Sorcery: Magic and Literacy in the High Middle Ages” by David Rollo - Demonstrates how closely interconnected certain types of vernacular and Latin writing were in this period. Uncovered through a series of illuminating, incisive, and often surprising close readings, these connections give us a new, more complex appraisal of the relationship between literacy, social status, and political power in a time and place in which various languages competed for cultural sovereignty-at a critical juncture in the cultural history of the West.
  41. Unlocked Books: Manuscripts of Learned Magic in the Medieval Libraries of Central Europe” by Benedek Láng - During the Middle Ages, the Western world translated the incredible Arabic scientific corpus and imported it into Western culture: Arabic philosophy, optics, and physics, as well as alchemy, astrology, and talismanic magic. The line between the scientific and the magical was blurred. According to popular lore, magicians of the Middle Ages were trained in the art of magic in “magician schools” located in various metropolitan areas, such as Naples, Athens, and Toledo.
  42. The History of Magic and Experimental Science” by Lynn Thorndike.
  43. The Mechanics of Ancient Egyptian Magical Practice” by Robert K. Ritner - This study represents the first critical examination of "magical techniques," revealing their widespread appearance and pivotal significance for all Egyptian "religious" practices from the earliest periods through the Coptic era, influencing as well the Greco-Egyptian magical papyri.
  44. Eternal Egypt: Ancient Rituals for the Modern World” by Richard J. Reidy - The first comprehensive collection of important temple rituals performed throughout Egypt during the time of the pharaohs. The author presents seven key rites from official temple records and ancient esoteric texts for personal or group use.
  45. Arguing With Angels” by Egil Asprem - Examining this magical system from its Renaissance origins to present day occultism, Egil Asprem shows how the reception of Dee’s magic is replete with struggles to construct and negotiate authoritative interpretational frameworks for doing magic. Arguing with Angels offers a novel, nuanced approach to questions about how ritual magic has survived the advent of modernity and demonstrates the ways in which modern culture has recreated magical discourse.
  46. Dictionary of Gnosis & Western Esotericism” by Wouter J. Hanegraaff - This is the first comprehensive reference work to cover the entire domain of “Gnosis and Western Esotericism” from the period of Late Antiquity to the present. Containing around 400 articles by over 180 international specialists, it provides critical overviews discussing the nature and historical development of all its important currents and manifestations, from Gnosticism and Hermetism to Astrology, Alchemy and Magic, from the Hermetic Tradition of the Renaissance to Rosicrucianism and Christian Theosophy, and from Freemasonry and Illuminism to 19th-century Occultism and the contemporary New Age movement.
  47. The Alchemy of Light: Geometry and Optics in Late Renaissance Alchemical Illustration” by Ursula Szulakowska - This study concerns the late Renaissance metaphysics of light in its adoption to a Paracelsian alchemical context by John Dee, Heinrich Khunrath, Michael Maier and Robert Fludd. he volume includes 50 illustrations from alchemical treatises of the period, the emphasis being placed on Khunrath's "Amphiteatrum Sapientiea Aeternae" (1595-1609). The study investigates these images using analytical tools drawn from semiotics, structuralism and post-structuralism.
  48. Theurgy and the Soul: The Neoplatonism of Iamblichus” by Gregory Shaw - A study of Iamblichus of Syria (ca. 240-325), whose teachings set the final form of pagan spirituality prior to the Christianization of the Roman Empire. Shaw focuses on the theory and practice of theurgy, the most controversial and significant aspect of Iamblichus's Platonism.
  49. Platonic Theology, Volume 1: Books I-IV” by Marsilio Ficino, edited by James Hankins - A visionary work and philosophical masterpiece of Marsilio Ficino (1433-1499), the Florentine scholar-philosopher-magus who was largely responsible for the Renaissance revival of Plato. A student of the Neoplatonic schools of Plotinus and Proclus, Ficino was committed to reconciling Platonism with Christianity, in the hope that such a reconciliation would initiate a spiritual revival and return of the golden age. This is one of the keys to understanding the art, thought, culture, and spirituality of the Renaissance.
  50. Giordano Bruno and Renaissance Science” by Hilary Gatti - This argument, associated with the work of Frances Yates, holds that early modern science was impregnated with and shaped by Hermetic and occult traditions, and has led scholars to view Bruno primarily as a magus.
  51. De Umbris Idearum” (The Collected Works of Giordano Bruno, Book 1)” by Giordano Bruno, edited by Scott Gosnell - To memorize anything, distribute vivid, emotionally stirring imagined images around a piece of familiar architecture. This is the method of loci, or memory palace method, first developed in classical antiquity.
  52. "Hermes: Guide of Souls" by Karl Kerenyi, translated by Murray Stein - Presents an authoritative study of the great god Hermes whom the Greeks revered as the Guides of Souls as well as the complex role of Hermes in classical mythology.
  53. Ritual Texts for the Afterlife: Orpheus and the Bacchic Gold Tablets” by Fritz Graf and Sarah Illes Johnston - Fascinating texts written on small gold tablets that were deposited in graves provide a unique source of information about what some Greeks and Romans believed regarding the fate that awaited them after death, and how they could influence it. These texts, dating from the late fifth century BCE to the second century CE, have been part of the scholarly debate on ancient afterlife beliefs since the end of the nineteenth century. The tablets belonged to those who had been initiated into the mysteries of Dionysus Bacchius and relied heavily upon myths narrated in poems ascribed to the mythical singer Orpheus.
  54. Magic and Magicians in the Greco-Roman World” by Matthew W. Dickie - This study is the first to assemble the evidence for the existence of sorcerors in the ancient world; it also addresses the question of their identity and social origins. The resulting investigation takes us to the underside of Greek and Roman society, into a world of wandering holy men and women, conjurors and wonder-workers, and into the lives of prostitutes, procuresses, charioteers and theatrical performers.

Further Resources
PDF’s:
Seeing The Word: John Dee and Renaissance Occultism” by Hakan Hakannson http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Seeing+the+Word%3A+John+Dee+and+Renaissance+Occultism.+.-a099012024

Miscellaneous Articles:
Khunrath by Peter Forshaw
http://uva.academia.edu/PeterForshaw
Enoch Traditions by Andrei Orlov
http://www.marquette.edu/maqom/metatronyouth.html
Hermes, Proclus, and the Question of A Philosophy of Magic in the Renaissance by Copenhaver

Websites & Blogs:
Brian P. Copenhaver
http://www.cmrs.ucla.edu/brian/index.htm
Claire Fanger:
http://rice.academia.edu/ClaireFanger
Wouter J. Hanegraaff: http://uva.academia.edu/WouterHanegraaff
The Ritman Library
https://www.youtube.com/useTheRitmanLibrary/videos

Scholarly Journals:
Dionysius
http://www.dal.ca/faculty/arts/classics/journals/dionysius.html
Aries: Journal for the Study of Western Esotericism
http://www.brill.com/aries
Copyright www.molochsorcery.com All Rights Reserved
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2020.09.18 19:44 Brother_Moloch_969 List of Academic Books, Websites, Blogs & More Resources for Pre-1800's Magic & Sorcery

Crossposted from Magick.
Greetings. Several years ago, I along with some friends (Aaron Leitch, Jake Stratton-Kent, Frater Rufus Opus, and many others) contributed to a list we thought would be a great resource for studying Magic & Sorcery with academic elements listed prior to the 1800's new age movement. Here you will find a lot of useful information and realize this list is NOT complete because since the time we created this list, more academic material has emerged on the market. Also realize these books are not often found free on the Net in pdf form so you will have to do like the rest of us had to do which is purchase them - if you want them. I got many of these books in used condition from Amazon, AbeBooks, Half-Price Books, and so forth. Getting these materials & studying them will seriously up your magical game. Enjoy!
8o) Br Moloch 9.6.9.
Books:
  1. The Greek Magical Papyri in Translation: Including the Demotic Spells: Texts (Volume 1)” by Hans Dieter Betz - This is a collection of magical spells and formulas, hymns, and rituals from Greco-Roman Egypt, dating from the second century B.C. to the fifth century A.D. A must read.
  2. Curse Tablets and Binding Spells from the Ancient World” edited by John G. Gager - In the ancient Greco-Roman world, it was common practice to curse or bind an enemy or rival by writing an incantation on a tablet and dedicating it to a god or spirit. These curses or binding spells, commonly called defixiones were intended to bring other people under the power and control of those who commissioned them
  3. Magika Hiera: Ancient Greek Magic and Religion” edited by Christopher A. Faraone & Dirk Obbink - This collection challenges the tendency among scholars of ancient Greece to see magical and religious ritual as mutually exclusive and to ignore "magical" practices in Greek religion. The contributors survey specific bodies of archaeological, epigraphical, and papyrological evidence for magical practices in the Greek world, and, in each case, determine whether the traditional dichotomy between magic and religion helps in any way to conceptualize the objective features of the evidence examined.
  4. Arcana Mundi: Magic and the Occult in the Greek and Roman Worlds: A Collection of Ancient Texts” by Georg Luck - Magic, miracles, daemonology, divination, astrology, and alchemy were the arcana mundi, the "secrets of the universe," of the ancient Greeks and Romans. In this path-breaking collection of Greek and Roman writings on magic and the occult, Georg Luck provides a comprehensive sourcebook and introduction to magic as it was practiced by witches and sorcerers, magi and astrologers, in the Greek and Roman worlds.
  5. Greek and Roman Necromancy” by Daniel Ogden - In classical antiquity, there was much interest in necromancy--the consultation of the dead for divination. People could seek knowledge from the dead by sleeping on tombs, visiting oracles, and attempting to reanimate corpses and skulls. Ranging over many of the lands in which Greek and Roman civilizations flourished, including Egypt, from the Greek archaic period through the late Roman empire, this book is the first comprehensive survey of the subject ever published in any language.
  6. Forbidden Rites: A Necromancer's Manual of the Fifteenth Century” by Richard Kieckhefer - Like many medieval texts for the use of magicians, this handbook is a miscellany rather than a systematic treatise. It is exceptional, however, in the scope and variety of its contents—prayers and conjurations, rituals of sympathetic magic, procedures involving astral magic, a catalogue of spirits, lengthy ceremonies for consecrating a book of magic, and other materials.
  7. Ritual Magic” by Elizabeth M. Butler - In this classic book (first published in 1949), Butler explores ritual magic using a wide range of texts from the pre-Christian rites of the Akkadians and Chaldeans to the Solomonic Clavicles of medieval Europe. Throughout, there is extensive quotation from the documents themselves, providing the reader with an authentic sense of the richness and power of these texts.
  8. Conjuring Spirits: Texts and Traditions of Medieval Ritual Magic” edited by Claire Fanger - Included are chapters by Richard Kieckhefer and Robert Mathiesen on the Sworn Book of Honorius, Michael Camille on the Ars Notoria, John B. Friedman on the Secretum Philosophorum, Nicholas Watson on the McMaster text, and Elizabeth Wade on Lullian divination. The work also includes Juris Lidaka's edition of the Liber de Angelis, and an overview of late medieval English ritual manuscripts by Frank Klaassen.
  9. The Fortunes of Faust” by Elizabeth M. Butler - Butler follows the magic tradition of the Magus—the priest-king—and its reformulation in the Christian world. In the process, the Magus was transformed into a wicked sorcerer who comes to a bad end in this world and a worse one hereafter. This conception, which gained ground in the Middle Ages, received its most categorical statement in the Faust legend.
  10. The Goetia of Dr. Rudd” by David Rankine & Stephen Skinner - The Goetia of Dr. Rudd explains how the 72 angels of the Shemhamphorash are used to evoke and safely bind demons—material that has not been made available in any previous edition. This rare volume contains a transcription of a hitherto unpublished manuscript of the Lemegeton and includes illustrations drawn from rare manuscripts held in the British Library.
  11. The Complete Magician’s Tables” by Stephen Skinner - The sources of this remarkable compilation range from classic grimoires such as the Sworn Book to modern theories of prime numbers and atomic weights. Data from Peter de Abano, Abbott Trithemium, Albertus Magnus, Cornelius Agrippa, and other prominent scholars is referenced here, in addition to hidden gems found in unpublished medieval grimoires and Kabbalistic works.
  12. The Keys to the Gateway of Magic: Summoning the Solomonic Archangels and Demon Princes” by Stephen Skinner & David Rankine - This classic text of the Nine Great Keys details the invocation of the Archangels, the full hierarchy of spiritual beings (including Olympic Spirits and Elementals) and the evocation of the four Demon Princes
  13. Three Books of Occult Philosophy” by Henry Cornelius Agrippa & edited by Donald Tyson - How magicians collect virtues from the three-fold World, is declared in these three books. Seeing there is a three-fold World, Elementary, Celestial, and Intellectual, and every inferior is governed by its superior. Indispensable.
  14. The Complete Picatrix: The Occult Classic Of Astrological Magic Liber Atratus” translated by John Michael Greer & Christopher Warnock - The Picatrix is the most famous grimoire of astrological magic and one of the most important works of medieval and Renaissance magic. With all four books of the Latin Picatrix complete in one volume, the Picatrix is an encyclopedic work with over 300 pages of Hermetic magical philosophy, ritual, talismanic and natural magic.
  15. Secrets of the Magical Grimoires Revealed” by Aaron Leitch - The magickal methods and esoteric knowledge of medieval Europe (476 to 1453 C.E.) form the ancestral backbone of modern ceremonial magick. To understand medieval magick, it’s necessary to know the primary repositories of this knowledge - the grimoires of spells, incantations, and ritual instructions for working with angels and conjuring spirits. And to understand the grimoires, you must delve into the life and times of the magicians who wrote them.
  16. The True Grimoire” by Jake Kent-Stratton - The True Grimoire is a major contribution to the practice and study of Goetic magic. The neglected Grimorium Verum has been restored to it's rightful place as a potent and coherent system of Goetic magic. Jake Stratton-Kent has reconstructed a working version from the corrupted Italian and French versions of this important grimoire.
  17. Geosophia: The Argo of Magic” by Jake Stratton-Kent - Geosophia traces the development of magic from the Greeks to the grimoires, laying bare the chthonic roots of goetic ritual. By exposing the necromantic origins of much of modern magic we are able to reconnect with the source of our ritual tradition. There is a continuity of practice in the West which encompasses the pre-Olympian cults of Dionysus and Cybele, is found in the Greek Magical Papyri and Picatrix and flows into the grimoires.
  18. "Ancient Christian Magic: Coptic Texts of Ritual Power" by Marvin W. Meyer & Richard Smith - This provocative collection of rites, spells, amulets, curses, and recipes of the early Coptic Christians documents Christianity as a living folk religion resembling other popular belief systems - something quite different from what theological and doctrinal traditions have led us to believe.
  19. Invoking Angels: Theurgic Ideas and Practices, Thirteenth to Sixteenth Centuries” edited by Claire Fanger - Bring0s together a tightly themed collection of essays on late medieval and early modern texts concerned with the role of angels in the cosmos, focusing on angelic rituals and spiritual cosmologies. Collectively, these essays tie medieval angel magic texts more clearly to medieval religion and to the better-known author-magicians of the early modern period.
  20. The Testament of Cyprian the Mage” by Jake Stratton-Kent - An ambitious and far-seeing work, addressing two ends of the magical spectrum: the Testament of Solomon and one version of the Iberian Book of Saint Cyprian. In doing so, key aspects of magical practice are revealed. This work draws upon these texts to create a clear understanding of the practice of grimoire magic, not as a discrete or degenerate subset of ceremonial magic, but one which is integrated with folk magic and witchcraft.
  21. Veritable Key of Solomon” by Stephen Skinner & David Rankine - Based on one of the best-known grimoires of the Western world, The Veritable Key of Solomon presents all aspects of this revered magical system in one impressive source.
  22. The Magical Treatise of Solomon, or Hygromanteia” by Ioannis Marathakis - The true source of the Key of Solomon, it is arguably the most significant magical text in the world. For the first time ever, this extraordinary work has been translated from the original Greek into English.
  23. Magic, Witchcraft and Ghosts in the Greek and Roman World: A Sourcebook” by Daniel Ogden - Contains three hundred texts in new translations, along with brief but explicit commentaries. Alongside descriptions of sorcerers, witches, and ghosts in the works of ancient writers, it reproduces curse tablets, spells from ancient magical recipe books, and inscriptions from magical amulets.
  24. Ancient Jewish Magic: A History” by Gideon Bohak - Gives a pioneering account of the broad history of ancient Jewish magic, from the Second Temple to the rabbinic period. It is based both on ancient magicians' own compositions and products in Aramaic, Hebrew and Greek, and on the descriptions and prescriptions of non-magicians, to reconstruct a historical picture that is as balanced and nuanced as possible.
  25. John Dee's Natural Philosophy: Between Science and Religion” by Nicholas Clulee - Thoroughly examining Dee’s natural philosophy, this book provides a balanced evaluation of his place, and the role of the occult, in sixteenth-century intellectual history. It brings together insights from a study of Dee’s writings, the available biographical material, and his sources as reflected in his extensive library and, more importantly, numerous surviving annotated volumes from it.
  26. Grimoires: A History of Magic Books” by Owen Davies - Put simply, grimoires are books of spells that were first recorded in the Ancient Middle East and which have developed and spread across much of the Western Hemisphere and beyond over the ensuing millennia. At their most benign, they contain charms and remedies for natural and supernatural ailments and advice on contacting spirits to help find treasures and protect from evil. But at their most sinister they provide instructions on how to manipulate people for corrupt purposes and, worst of all, to call up and make a pact with the Devil. Both types have proven remarkably resilient and adaptable and retain much of their relevance and fascination to this day.
  27. The Language of Demons and Angels: Cornelius Agrippa's Occult Philosophy” by Christopher I. Lehrich - The analysis walks the reader through the text of De Occulta Philosophia, Agrippa's 1533 masterpiece, explicating the often hidden structure and argument of the work.
  28. Thrice-Greatest Hermes; Studies in Hellenistic Theosophy and Gnosis” by G. R. S. Mead - Three Volumes bound into one. Volume contents are: Vol. 1. Prolegomena. -- Vol. 2. Sermons. -- Vol. 3. Excerpts and fragments.
  29. The Egyptian Hermes: A Historical Approach to the Late Pagan Mind” by Garth Fowden - Starting from the complex fusions and tensions that molded Graeco-Egyptian culture, and in particular Hermetism, during the centuries after Alexander, the author argues that the technical and philosophical Hermetica, apparently so different, might be seen as aspects of a single "way of Hermes".
  30. Restless Dead: Encounters between the Living and the Dead in Ancient Greece” by Sarah Illes Johnston - Topics of focus include the origin of the goes (the ritual practitioner who made interaction with the dead his specialty), the threat to the living presented by the ghosts of those who died dishonorably or prematurely, the development of Hecate into a mistress of ghosts and its connection to female rites of transition, and the complex nature of the Erinyes.
  31. Hekate Soteira: A Study of Hekate's Roles in the Chaldean Oracles and Related Literature” by Sarah Illes Johnston - Hekate is best known to classicists and historians of religion as the horrific patroness of witches. But from the Hellenistic age onward, some Greek and Roman philosophers and magicians portrayed her quite differently.
  32. Magic and Ritual in the Ancient World” edited by Paul Mirecki and Marvin Meyer.
  33. Marsilio Ficino: His Theology, His Philosophy, His Legacy” edited by V. Rees, Michael J. B. Allen & Valery Rees - This volume consists of 21 essays on Marsilio Ficino (1433-99), the great Florentine scholar, philosopher and priest who was the architect of Renaissance Platonism and whose long-lasting influence on philosophy, love and music theory, medicine and magic extended across Europe.
  34. Secrets of Nature: Astrology and Alchemy in Early Modern Europe” edited by William R. Newman & Anthony Grafton - Shows the many ways in which astrology and alchemy diverge as well as intersect. Overall, it shows how an appreciation of the role of the occult opens up new ways of understanding the past.
  35. Trithemius and Magical Theology: A Chapter in the Controversy over Occult Studies in Early Modern Europe” by Noel L. Brann - This is a very useful, exciting and informative text for those interested in the philosophy and theology behind Renaissance Magic. Mentor to Agrippa, pioneer of cryptography, Trithemius is one of the most important (and well-placed in Church history) yet difficult to understand of the great Renaissance writers on magic, and this book provides a detailed but readable introduction to his views on the subject.
  36. John Dee's Conversations with Angels” by Deborah E. Harkness - John Dee's angel conversations have been an enigmatic facet of Elizabethan England's most famous natural philosopher's life and work. Professor Harkness contextualizes Dee's angel conversations within the natural philosophical, religious and social contexts of his time. She argues that they represent a continuing development of John Dee's earlier concerns and interests. These conversations include discussions of the natural world, the practice of natural philosophy, and the apocalypse.
  37. John Dee's Occultism: Magical Exaltation Through Powerful Signs” by Gyorgy E. Szonyi - Presents an analysis of Renaissance occultism and its place in the chronology of European cultural history. Culling examples of "magical thinking" from classical, medieval, and Renaissance philosophers, Szonyi revisits the body of Dee's own scientific and spiritual writings as reflective sources of traditional mysticism.
  38. The Arch Conjuror of England: John Dee” by Glyn Parry - Explores Dee’s vast array of political, magical, and scientific writings and finds that they cast significant new light on policy struggles in the Elizabethan court, conservative attacks on magic, and Europe's religious wars. John Dee was more than just a fringe magus, Parry shows Dee was a major figure of the Reformation and Renaissance.
  39. The Eternal Hermes: From Greek God to Alchemical Magus” by Antoine Favre - Drawing upon rare books and manuscripts, this highly illustrated work explores the question of where Hermes Trismegistus came from how he came to be a patron of the esoteric traditions and how the figure of Hermes has remained lively and inspiring to our own day.
  40. Glamorous Sorcery: Magic and Literacy in the High Middle Ages” by David Rollo - Demonstrates how closely interconnected certain types of vernacular and Latin writing were in this period. Uncovered through a series of illuminating, incisive, and often surprising close readings, these connections give us a new, more complex appraisal of the relationship between literacy, social status, and political power in a time and place in which various languages competed for cultural sovereignty-at a critical juncture in the cultural history of the West.
  41. Unlocked Books: Manuscripts of Learned Magic in the Medieval Libraries of Central Europe” by Benedek Láng - During the Middle Ages, the Western world translated the incredible Arabic scientific corpus and imported it into Western culture: Arabic philosophy, optics, and physics, as well as alchemy, astrology, and talismanic magic. The line between the scientific and the magical was blurred. According to popular lore, magicians of the Middle Ages were trained in the art of magic in “magician schools” located in various metropolitan areas, such as Naples, Athens, and Toledo.
  42. The History of Magic and Experimental Science” by Lynn Thorndike.
  43. The Mechanics of Ancient Egyptian Magical Practice” by Robert K. Ritner - This study represents the first critical examination of "magical techniques," revealing their widespread appearance and pivotal significance for all Egyptian "religious" practices from the earliest periods through the Coptic era, influencing as well the Greco-Egyptian magical papyri.
  44. Eternal Egypt: Ancient Rituals for the Modern World” by Richard J. Reidy - The first comprehensive collection of important temple rituals performed throughout Egypt during the time of the pharaohs. The author presents seven key rites from official temple records and ancient esoteric texts for personal or group use.
  45. Arguing With Angels” by Egil Asprem - Examining this magical system from its Renaissance origins to present day occultism, Egil Asprem shows how the reception of Dee’s magic is replete with struggles to construct and negotiate authoritative interpretational frameworks for doing magic. Arguing with Angels offers a novel, nuanced approach to questions about how ritual magic has survived the advent of modernity and demonstrates the ways in which modern culture has recreated magical discourse.
  46. Dictionary of Gnosis & Western Esotericism” by Wouter J. Hanegraaff - This is the first comprehensive reference work to cover the entire domain of “Gnosis and Western Esotericism” from the period of Late Antiquity to the present. Containing around 400 articles by over 180 international specialists, it provides critical overviews discussing the nature and historical development of all its important currents and manifestations, from Gnosticism and Hermetism to Astrology, Alchemy and Magic, from the Hermetic Tradition of the Renaissance to Rosicrucianism and Christian Theosophy, and from Freemasonry and Illuminism to 19th-century Occultism and the contemporary New Age movement.
  47. The Alchemy of Light: Geometry and Optics in Late Renaissance Alchemical Illustration” by Ursula Szulakowska - This study concerns the late Renaissance metaphysics of light in its adoption to a Paracelsian alchemical context by John Dee, Heinrich Khunrath, Michael Maier and Robert Fludd. he volume includes 50 illustrations from alchemical treatises of the period, the emphasis being placed on Khunrath's "Amphiteatrum Sapientiea Aeternae" (1595-1609). The study investigates these images using analytical tools drawn from semiotics, structuralism and post-structuralism.
  48. Theurgy and the Soul: The Neoplatonism of Iamblichus” by Gregory Shaw - A study of Iamblichus of Syria (ca. 240-325), whose teachings set the final form of pagan spirituality prior to the Christianization of the Roman Empire. Shaw focuses on the theory and practice of theurgy, the most controversial and significant aspect of Iamblichus's Platonism.
  49. Platonic Theology, Volume 1: Books I-IV” by Marsilio Ficino, edited by James Hankins - A visionary work and philosophical masterpiece of Marsilio Ficino (1433-1499), the Florentine scholar-philosopher-magus who was largely responsible for the Renaissance revival of Plato. A student of the Neoplatonic schools of Plotinus and Proclus, Ficino was committed to reconciling Platonism with Christianity, in the hope that such a reconciliation would initiate a spiritual revival and return of the golden age. This is one of the keys to understanding the art, thought, culture, and spirituality of the Renaissance.
  50. Giordano Bruno and Renaissance Science” by Hilary Gatti - This argument, associated with the work of Frances Yates, holds that early modern science was impregnated with and shaped by Hermetic and occult traditions, and has led scholars to view Bruno primarily as a magus.
  51. De Umbris Idearum” (The Collected Works of Giordano Bruno, Book 1)” by Giordano Bruno, edited by Scott Gosnell - To memorize anything, distribute vivid, emotionally stirring imagined images around a piece of familiar architecture. This is the method of loci, or memory palace method, first developed in classical antiquity.
  52. "Hermes: Guide of Souls" by Karl Kerenyi, translated by Murray Stein - Presents an authoritative study of the great god Hermes whom the Greeks revered as the Guides of Souls as well as the complex role of Hermes in classical mythology.
  53. Ritual Texts for the Afterlife: Orpheus and the Bacchic Gold Tablets” by Fritz Graf and Sarah Illes Johnston - Fascinating texts written on small gold tablets that were deposited in graves provide a unique source of information about what some Greeks and Romans believed regarding the fate that awaited them after death, and how they could influence it. These texts, dating from the late fifth century BCE to the second century CE, have been part of the scholarly debate on ancient afterlife beliefs since the end of the nineteenth century. The tablets belonged to those who had been initiated into the mysteries of Dionysus Bacchius and relied heavily upon myths narrated in poems ascribed to the mythical singer Orpheus.
  54. Magic and Magicians in the Greco-Roman World” by Matthew W. Dickie - This study is the first to assemble the evidence for the existence of sorcerors in the ancient world; it also addresses the question of their identity and social origins. The resulting investigation takes us to the underside of Greek and Roman society, into a world of wandering holy men and women, conjurors and wonder-workers, and into the lives of prostitutes, procuresses, charioteers and theatrical performers.

Further Resources
PDF’s:
Seeing The Word: John Dee and Renaissance Occultism” by Hakan Hakannson http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Seeing+the+Word%3A+John+Dee+and+Renaissance+Occultism.+.-a099012024

Miscellaneous Articles:
Khunrath by Peter Forshaw
http://uva.academia.edu/PeterForshaw
Enoch Traditions by Andrei Orlov
http://www.marquette.edu/maqom/metatronyouth.html
Hermes, Proclus, and the Question of A Philosophy of Magic in the Renaissance by Copenhaver

Websites & Blogs:
Brian P. Copenhaver
http://www.cmrs.ucla.edu/brian/index.htm
Claire Fanger:
http://rice.academia.edu/ClaireFanger
Wouter J. Hanegraaff: http://uva.academia.edu/WouterHanegraaff
The Ritman Library
https://www.youtube.com/useTheRitmanLibrary/videos

Scholarly Journals:
Dionysius
http://www.dal.ca/faculty/arts/classics/journals/dionysius.html
Aries: Journal for the Study of Western Esotericism
http://www.brill.com/aries
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First and foremost I am looking for companionship, friendship and a woman to hang out with, enjoy talking to and spending time with. Anything else beyond that is open to time and chemistry.
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I am located in Northern Utah, Ogden. I work full time, second shift. If you want to talk, please don't hesitate to message or send a chat. I will get back to you. Just know my intention is person to person, not texting all the time.
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2020.09.18 19:33 Brother_Moloch_969 List of Academic Sources for Pre-1800's Magic & Sorcery Books, Websites, Blogs and etc.

Cross-posted from Magick.
Greetings. Several years ago, I along with some friends (Aaron Leitch, Jake Stratton-Kent, Frater Rufus Opus, and many others) contributed to a list we thought would be a great resource for studying Magic & Sorcery with academic elements listed prior to the 1800's new age movement. Here you will find a lot of useful information and realize this list is NOT complete because since the time we created this list, more academic material has emerged on the market. Also realize these books are not often found free on the Net in pdf form so you will have to do like the rest of us had to do which is purchase them - if you want them. I got many of these books in used condition from Amazon, AbeBooks, Half-Price Books, and so forth. Getting these materials & studying them will seriously up your magical game. Enjoy!
8o) Br Moloch 9.6.9.
Books:
  1. The Greek Magical Papyri in Translation: Including the Demotic Spells: Texts (Volume 1)” by Hans Dieter Betz - This is a collection of magical spells and formulas, hymns, and rituals from Greco-Roman Egypt, dating from the second century B.C. to the fifth century A.D. A must read.
  2. Curse Tablets and Binding Spells from the Ancient World” edited by John G. Gager - In the ancient Greco-Roman world, it was common practice to curse or bind an enemy or rival by writing an incantation on a tablet and dedicating it to a god or spirit. These curses or binding spells, commonly called defixiones were intended to bring other people under the power and control of those who commissioned them
  3. Magika Hiera: Ancient Greek Magic and Religion” edited by Christopher A. Faraone & Dirk Obbink - This collection challenges the tendency among scholars of ancient Greece to see magical and religious ritual as mutually exclusive and to ignore "magical" practices in Greek religion. The contributors survey specific bodies of archaeological, epigraphical, and papyrological evidence for magical practices in the Greek world, and, in each case, determine whether the traditional dichotomy between magic and religion helps in any way to conceptualize the objective features of the evidence examined.
  4. Arcana Mundi: Magic and the Occult in the Greek and Roman Worlds: A Collection of Ancient Texts” by Georg Luck - Magic, miracles, daemonology, divination, astrology, and alchemy were the arcana mundi, the "secrets of the universe," of the ancient Greeks and Romans. In this path-breaking collection of Greek and Roman writings on magic and the occult, Georg Luck provides a comprehensive sourcebook and introduction to magic as it was practiced by witches and sorcerers, magi and astrologers, in the Greek and Roman worlds.
  5. Greek and Roman Necromancy” by Daniel Ogden - In classical antiquity, there was much interest in necromancy--the consultation of the dead for divination. People could seek knowledge from the dead by sleeping on tombs, visiting oracles, and attempting to reanimate corpses and skulls. Ranging over many of the lands in which Greek and Roman civilizations flourished, including Egypt, from the Greek archaic period through the late Roman empire, this book is the first comprehensive survey of the subject ever published in any language.
  6. Forbidden Rites: A Necromancer's Manual of the Fifteenth Century” by Richard Kieckhefer - Like many medieval texts for the use of magicians, this handbook is a miscellany rather than a systematic treatise. It is exceptional, however, in the scope and variety of its contents—prayers and conjurations, rituals of sympathetic magic, procedures involving astral magic, a catalogue of spirits, lengthy ceremonies for consecrating a book of magic, and other materials.
  7. Ritual Magic” by Elizabeth M. Butler - In this classic book (first published in 1949), Butler explores ritual magic using a wide range of texts from the pre-Christian rites of the Akkadians and Chaldeans to the Solomonic Clavicles of medieval Europe. Throughout, there is extensive quotation from the documents themselves, providing the reader with an authentic sense of the richness and power of these texts.
  8. Conjuring Spirits: Texts and Traditions of Medieval Ritual Magic” edited by Claire Fanger - Included are chapters by Richard Kieckhefer and Robert Mathiesen on the Sworn Book of Honorius, Michael Camille on the Ars Notoria, John B. Friedman on the Secretum Philosophorum, Nicholas Watson on the McMaster text, and Elizabeth Wade on Lullian divination. The work also includes Juris Lidaka's edition of the Liber de Angelis, and an overview of late medieval English ritual manuscripts by Frank Klaassen.
  9. The Fortunes of Faust” by Elizabeth M. Butler - Butler follows the magic tradition of the Magus—the priest-king—and its reformulation in the Christian world. In the process, the Magus was transformed into a wicked sorcerer who comes to a bad end in this world and a worse one hereafter. This conception, which gained ground in the Middle Ages, received its most categorical statement in the Faust legend.
  10. The Goetia of Dr. Rudd” by David Rankine & Stephen Skinner - The Goetia of Dr. Rudd explains how the 72 angels of the Shemhamphorash are used to evoke and safely bind demons—material that has not been made available in any previous edition. This rare volume contains a transcription of a hitherto unpublished manuscript of the Lemegeton and includes illustrations drawn from rare manuscripts held in the British Library.
  11. The Complete Magician’s Tables” by Stephen Skinner - The sources of this remarkable compilation range from classic grimoires such as the Sworn Book to modern theories of prime numbers and atomic weights. Data from Peter de Abano, Abbott Trithemium, Albertus Magnus, Cornelius Agrippa, and other prominent scholars is referenced here, in addition to hidden gems found in unpublished medieval grimoires and Kabbalistic works.
  12. The Keys to the Gateway of Magic: Summoning the Solomonic Archangels and Demon Princes” by Stephen Skinner & David Rankine - This classic text of the Nine Great Keys details the invocation of the Archangels, the full hierarchy of spiritual beings (including Olympic Spirits and Elementals) and the evocation of the four Demon Princes
  13. Three Books of Occult Philosophy” by Henry Cornelius Agrippa & edited by Donald Tyson - How magicians collect virtues from the three-fold World, is declared in these three books. Seeing there is a three-fold World, Elementary, Celestial, and Intellectual, and every inferior is governed by its superior. Indispensable.
  14. The Complete Picatrix: The Occult Classic Of Astrological Magic Liber Atratus” translated by John Michael Greer & Christopher Warnock - The Picatrix is the most famous grimoire of astrological magic and one of the most important works of medieval and Renaissance magic. With all four books of the Latin Picatrix complete in one volume, the Picatrix is an encyclopedic work with over 300 pages of Hermetic magical philosophy, ritual, talismanic and natural magic.
  15. Secrets of the Magical Grimoires Revealed” by Aaron Leitch - The magickal methods and esoteric knowledge of medieval Europe (476 to 1453 C.E.) form the ancestral backbone of modern ceremonial magick. To understand medieval magick, it’s necessary to know the primary repositories of this knowledge - the grimoires of spells, incantations, and ritual instructions for working with angels and conjuring spirits. And to understand the grimoires, you must delve into the life and times of the magicians who wrote them.
  16. The True Grimoire” by Jake Kent-Stratton - The True Grimoire is a major contribution to the practice and study of Goetic magic. The neglected Grimorium Verum has been restored to it's rightful place as a potent and coherent system of Goetic magic. Jake Stratton-Kent has reconstructed a working version from the corrupted Italian and French versions of this important grimoire.
  17. Geosophia: The Argo of Magic” by Jake Stratton-Kent - Geosophia traces the development of magic from the Greeks to the grimoires, laying bare the chthonic roots of goetic ritual. By exposing the necromantic origins of much of modern magic we are able to reconnect with the source of our ritual tradition. There is a continuity of practice in the West which encompasses the pre-Olympian cults of Dionysus and Cybele, is found in the Greek Magical Papyri and Picatrix and flows into the grimoires.
  18. "Ancient Christian Magic: Coptic Texts of Ritual Power" by Marvin W. Meyer & Richard Smith - This provocative collection of rites, spells, amulets, curses, and recipes of the early Coptic Christians documents Christianity as a living folk religion resembling other popular belief systems - something quite different from what theological and doctrinal traditions have led us to believe.
  19. Invoking Angels: Theurgic Ideas and Practices, Thirteenth to Sixteenth Centuries” edited by Claire Fanger - Bring0s together a tightly themed collection of essays on late medieval and early modern texts concerned with the role of angels in the cosmos, focusing on angelic rituals and spiritual cosmologies. Collectively, these essays tie medieval angel magic texts more clearly to medieval religion and to the better-known author-magicians of the early modern period.
  20. The Testament of Cyprian the Mage” by Jake Stratton-Kent - An ambitious and far-seeing work, addressing two ends of the magical spectrum: the Testament of Solomon and one version of the Iberian Book of Saint Cyprian. In doing so, key aspects of magical practice are revealed. This work draws upon these texts to create a clear understanding of the practice of grimoire magic, not as a discrete or degenerate subset of ceremonial magic, but one which is integrated with folk magic and witchcraft.
  21. Veritable Key of Solomon” by Stephen Skinner & David Rankine - Based on one of the best-known grimoires of the Western world, The Veritable Key of Solomon presents all aspects of this revered magical system in one impressive source.
  22. The Magical Treatise of Solomon, or Hygromanteia” by Ioannis Marathakis - The true source of the Key of Solomon, it is arguably the most significant magical text in the world. For the first time ever, this extraordinary work has been translated from the original Greek into English.
  23. Magic, Witchcraft and Ghosts in the Greek and Roman World: A Sourcebook” by Daniel Ogden - Contains three hundred texts in new translations, along with brief but explicit commentaries. Alongside descriptions of sorcerers, witches, and ghosts in the works of ancient writers, it reproduces curse tablets, spells from ancient magical recipe books, and inscriptions from magical amulets.
  24. Ancient Jewish Magic: A History” by Gideon Bohak - Gives a pioneering account of the broad history of ancient Jewish magic, from the Second Temple to the rabbinic period. It is based both on ancient magicians' own compositions and products in Aramaic, Hebrew and Greek, and on the descriptions and prescriptions of non-magicians, to reconstruct a historical picture that is as balanced and nuanced as possible.
  25. John Dee's Natural Philosophy: Between Science and Religion” by Nicholas Clulee - Thoroughly examining Dee’s natural philosophy, this book provides a balanced evaluation of his place, and the role of the occult, in sixteenth-century intellectual history. It brings together insights from a study of Dee’s writings, the available biographical material, and his sources as reflected in his extensive library and, more importantly, numerous surviving annotated volumes from it.
  26. Grimoires: A History of Magic Books” by Owen Davies - Put simply, grimoires are books of spells that were first recorded in the Ancient Middle East and which have developed and spread across much of the Western Hemisphere and beyond over the ensuing millennia. At their most benign, they contain charms and remedies for natural and supernatural ailments and advice on contacting spirits to help find treasures and protect from evil. But at their most sinister they provide instructions on how to manipulate people for corrupt purposes and, worst of all, to call up and make a pact with the Devil. Both types have proven remarkably resilient and adaptable and retain much of their relevance and fascination to this day.
  27. The Language of Demons and Angels: Cornelius Agrippa's Occult Philosophy” by Christopher I. Lehrich - The analysis walks the reader through the text of De Occulta Philosophia, Agrippa's 1533 masterpiece, explicating the often hidden structure and argument of the work.
  28. Thrice-Greatest Hermes; Studies in Hellenistic Theosophy and Gnosis” by G. R. S. Mead - Three Volumes bound into one. Volume contents are: Vol. 1. Prolegomena. -- Vol. 2. Sermons. -- Vol. 3. Excerpts and fragments.
  29. The Egyptian Hermes: A Historical Approach to the Late Pagan Mind” by Garth Fowden - Starting from the complex fusions and tensions that molded Graeco-Egyptian culture, and in particular Hermetism, during the centuries after Alexander, the author argues that the technical and philosophical Hermetica, apparently so different, might be seen as aspects of a single "way of Hermes".
  30. Restless Dead: Encounters between the Living and the Dead in Ancient Greece” by Sarah Illes Johnston - Topics of focus include the origin of the goes (the ritual practitioner who made interaction with the dead his specialty), the threat to the living presented by the ghosts of those who died dishonorably or prematurely, the development of Hecate into a mistress of ghosts and its connection to female rites of transition, and the complex nature of the Erinyes.
  31. Hekate Soteira: A Study of Hekate's Roles in the Chaldean Oracles and Related Literature” by Sarah Illes Johnston - Hekate is best known to classicists and historians of religion as the horrific patroness of witches. But from the Hellenistic age onward, some Greek and Roman philosophers and magicians portrayed her quite differently.
  32. Magic and Ritual in the Ancient World” edited by Paul Mirecki and Marvin Meyer.
  33. Marsilio Ficino: His Theology, His Philosophy, His Legacy” edited by V. Rees, Michael J. B. Allen & Valery Rees - This volume consists of 21 essays on Marsilio Ficino (1433-99), the great Florentine scholar, philosopher and priest who was the architect of Renaissance Platonism and whose long-lasting influence on philosophy, love and music theory, medicine and magic extended across Europe.
  34. Secrets of Nature: Astrology and Alchemy in Early Modern Europe” edited by William R. Newman & Anthony Grafton - Shows the many ways in which astrology and alchemy diverge as well as intersect. Overall, it shows how an appreciation of the role of the occult opens up new ways of understanding the past.
  35. Trithemius and Magical Theology: A Chapter in the Controversy over Occult Studies in Early Modern Europe” by Noel L. Brann - This is a very useful, exciting and informative text for those interested in the philosophy and theology behind Renaissance Magic. Mentor to Agrippa, pioneer of cryptography, Trithemius is one of the most important (and well-placed in Church history) yet difficult to understand of the great Renaissance writers on magic, and this book provides a detailed but readable introduction to his views on the subject.
  36. John Dee's Conversations with Angels” by Deborah E. Harkness - John Dee's angel conversations have been an enigmatic facet of Elizabethan England's most famous natural philosopher's life and work. Professor Harkness contextualizes Dee's angel conversations within the natural philosophical, religious and social contexts of his time. She argues that they represent a continuing development of John Dee's earlier concerns and interests. These conversations include discussions of the natural world, the practice of natural philosophy, and the apocalypse.
  37. John Dee's Occultism: Magical Exaltation Through Powerful Signs” by Gyorgy E. Szonyi - Presents an analysis of Renaissance occultism and its place in the chronology of European cultural history. Culling examples of "magical thinking" from classical, medieval, and Renaissance philosophers, Szonyi revisits the body of Dee's own scientific and spiritual writings as reflective sources of traditional mysticism.
  38. The Arch Conjuror of England: John Dee” by Glyn Parry - Explores Dee’s vast array of political, magical, and scientific writings and finds that they cast significant new light on policy struggles in the Elizabethan court, conservative attacks on magic, and Europe's religious wars. John Dee was more than just a fringe magus, Parry shows Dee was a major figure of the Reformation and Renaissance.
  39. The Eternal Hermes: From Greek God to Alchemical Magus” by Antoine Favre - Drawing upon rare books and manuscripts, this highly illustrated work explores the question of where Hermes Trismegistus came from how he came to be a patron of the esoteric traditions and how the figure of Hermes has remained lively and inspiring to our own day.
  40. Glamorous Sorcery: Magic and Literacy in the High Middle Ages” by David Rollo - Demonstrates how closely interconnected certain types of vernacular and Latin writing were in this period. Uncovered through a series of illuminating, incisive, and often surprising close readings, these connections give us a new, more complex appraisal of the relationship between literacy, social status, and political power in a time and place in which various languages competed for cultural sovereignty-at a critical juncture in the cultural history of the West.
  41. Unlocked Books: Manuscripts of Learned Magic in the Medieval Libraries of Central Europe” by Benedek Láng - During the Middle Ages, the Western world translated the incredible Arabic scientific corpus and imported it into Western culture: Arabic philosophy, optics, and physics, as well as alchemy, astrology, and talismanic magic. The line between the scientific and the magical was blurred. According to popular lore, magicians of the Middle Ages were trained in the art of magic in “magician schools” located in various metropolitan areas, such as Naples, Athens, and Toledo.
  42. The History of Magic and Experimental Science” by Lynn Thorndike.
  43. The Mechanics of Ancient Egyptian Magical Practice” by Robert K. Ritner - This study represents the first critical examination of "magical techniques," revealing their widespread appearance and pivotal significance for all Egyptian "religious" practices from the earliest periods through the Coptic era, influencing as well the Greco-Egyptian magical papyri.
  44. Eternal Egypt: Ancient Rituals for the Modern World” by Richard J. Reidy - The first comprehensive collection of important temple rituals performed throughout Egypt during the time of the pharaohs. The author presents seven key rites from official temple records and ancient esoteric texts for personal or group use.
  45. Arguing With Angels” by Egil Asprem - Examining this magical system from its Renaissance origins to present day occultism, Egil Asprem shows how the reception of Dee’s magic is replete with struggles to construct and negotiate authoritative interpretational frameworks for doing magic. Arguing with Angels offers a novel, nuanced approach to questions about how ritual magic has survived the advent of modernity and demonstrates the ways in which modern culture has recreated magical discourse.
  46. Dictionary of Gnosis & Western Esotericism” by Wouter J. Hanegraaff - This is the first comprehensive reference work to cover the entire domain of “Gnosis and Western Esotericism” from the period of Late Antiquity to the present. Containing around 400 articles by over 180 international specialists, it provides critical overviews discussing the nature and historical development of all its important currents and manifestations, from Gnosticism and Hermetism to Astrology, Alchemy and Magic, from the Hermetic Tradition of the Renaissance to Rosicrucianism and Christian Theosophy, and from Freemasonry and Illuminism to 19th-century Occultism and the contemporary New Age movement.
  47. The Alchemy of Light: Geometry and Optics in Late Renaissance Alchemical Illustration” by Ursula Szulakowska - This study concerns the late Renaissance metaphysics of light in its adoption to a Paracelsian alchemical context by John Dee, Heinrich Khunrath, Michael Maier and Robert Fludd. he volume includes 50 illustrations from alchemical treatises of the period, the emphasis being placed on Khunrath's "Amphiteatrum Sapientiea Aeternae" (1595-1609). The study investigates these images using analytical tools drawn from semiotics, structuralism and post-structuralism.
  48. Theurgy and the Soul: The Neoplatonism of Iamblichus” by Gregory Shaw - A study of Iamblichus of Syria (ca. 240-325), whose teachings set the final form of pagan spirituality prior to the Christianization of the Roman Empire. Shaw focuses on the theory and practice of theurgy, the most controversial and significant aspect of Iamblichus's Platonism.
  49. Platonic Theology, Volume 1: Books I-IV” by Marsilio Ficino, edited by James Hankins - A visionary work and philosophical masterpiece of Marsilio Ficino (1433-1499), the Florentine scholar-philosopher-magus who was largely responsible for the Renaissance revival of Plato. A student of the Neoplatonic schools of Plotinus and Proclus, Ficino was committed to reconciling Platonism with Christianity, in the hope that such a reconciliation would initiate a spiritual revival and return of the golden age. This is one of the keys to understanding the art, thought, culture, and spirituality of the Renaissance.
  50. Giordano Bruno and Renaissance Science” by Hilary Gatti - This argument, associated with the work of Frances Yates, holds that early modern science was impregnated with and shaped by Hermetic and occult traditions, and has led scholars to view Bruno primarily as a magus.
  51. De Umbris Idearum” (The Collected Works of Giordano Bruno, Book 1)” by Giordano Bruno, edited by Scott Gosnell - To memorize anything, distribute vivid, emotionally stirring imagined images around a piece of familiar architecture. This is the method of loci, or memory palace method, first developed in classical antiquity.
  52. "Hermes: Guide of Souls" by Karl Kerenyi, translated by Murray Stein - Presents an authoritative study of the great god Hermes whom the Greeks revered as the Guides of Souls as well as the complex role of Hermes in classical mythology.
  53. Ritual Texts for the Afterlife: Orpheus and the Bacchic Gold Tablets” by Fritz Graf and Sarah Illes Johnston - Fascinating texts written on small gold tablets that were deposited in graves provide a unique source of information about what some Greeks and Romans believed regarding the fate that awaited them after death, and how they could influence it. These texts, dating from the late fifth century BCE to the second century CE, have been part of the scholarly debate on ancient afterlife beliefs since the end of the nineteenth century. The tablets belonged to those who had been initiated into the mysteries of Dionysus Bacchius and relied heavily upon myths narrated in poems ascribed to the mythical singer Orpheus.
  54. Magic and Magicians in the Greco-Roman World” by Matthew W. Dickie - This study is the first to assemble the evidence for the existence of sorcerors in the ancient world; it also addresses the question of their identity and social origins. The resulting investigation takes us to the underside of Greek and Roman society, into a world of wandering holy men and women, conjurors and wonder-workers, and into the lives of prostitutes, procuresses, charioteers and theatrical performers.

Further Resources
PDF’s:
Seeing The Word: John Dee and Renaissance Occultism” by Hakan Hakannson http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Seeing+the+Word%3A+John+Dee+and+Renaissance+Occultism.+.-a099012024

Miscellaneous Articles:
Khunrath by Peter Forshaw
http://uva.academia.edu/PeterForshaw
Enoch Traditions by Andrei Orlov
http://www.marquette.edu/maqom/metatronyouth.html
Hermes, Proclus, and the Question of A Philosophy of Magic in the Renaissance by Copenhaver

Websites & Blogs:
Brian P. Copenhaver
http://www.cmrs.ucla.edu/brian/index.htm
Claire Fanger:
http://rice.academia.edu/ClaireFanger
Wouter J. Hanegraaff: http://uva.academia.edu/WouterHanegraaff
The Ritman Library
https://www.youtube.com/useTheRitmanLibrary/videos

Scholarly Journals:
Dionysius
http://www.dal.ca/faculty/arts/classics/journals/dionysius.html
Aries: Journal for the Study of Western Esotericism
http://www.brill.com/aries
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2020.09.18 19:31 Brother_Moloch_969 List of Academic Pre-1800's Occult Books, Websites, Blogs & Etc.

Greetings. Several years ago, I along with some friends (Aaron Leitch, Jake Stratton-Kent, Frater Rufus Opus, and many others) contributed to a list we thought would be a great resource for studying Magic & Sorcery with academic elements listed prior to the 1800's new age movement. Here you will find a lot of useful information and realize this list is NOT complete because since the time we created this list, more academic material has emerged on the market. Also realize these books are not often found free on the Net in pdf form so you will have to do like the rest of us had to do which is purchase them - if you want them. I got many of these books in used condition from Amazon, AbeBooks, Half-Price Books, and so forth. Getting these materials & studying them will seriously up your magical game. Enjoy!
8o) Br Moloch 9.6.9.
Books:
  1. The Greek Magical Papyri in Translation: Including the Demotic Spells: Texts (Volume 1)” by Hans Dieter Betz - This is a collection of magical spells and formulas, hymns, and rituals from Greco-Roman Egypt, dating from the second century B.C. to the fifth century A.D. A must read.
  2. Curse Tablets and Binding Spells from the Ancient World” edited by John G. Gager - In the ancient Greco-Roman world, it was common practice to curse or bind an enemy or rival by writing an incantation on a tablet and dedicating it to a god or spirit. These curses or binding spells, commonly called defixiones were intended to bring other people under the power and control of those who commissioned them
  3. Magika Hiera: Ancient Greek Magic and Religion” edited by Christopher A. Faraone & Dirk Obbink - This collection challenges the tendency among scholars of ancient Greece to see magical and religious ritual as mutually exclusive and to ignore "magical" practices in Greek religion. The contributors survey specific bodies of archaeological, epigraphical, and papyrological evidence for magical practices in the Greek world, and, in each case, determine whether the traditional dichotomy between magic and religion helps in any way to conceptualize the objective features of the evidence examined.
  4. Arcana Mundi: Magic and the Occult in the Greek and Roman Worlds: A Collection of Ancient Texts” by Georg Luck - Magic, miracles, daemonology, divination, astrology, and alchemy were the arcana mundi, the "secrets of the universe," of the ancient Greeks and Romans. In this path-breaking collection of Greek and Roman writings on magic and the occult, Georg Luck provides a comprehensive sourcebook and introduction to magic as it was practiced by witches and sorcerers, magi and astrologers, in the Greek and Roman worlds.
  5. Greek and Roman Necromancy” by Daniel Ogden - In classical antiquity, there was much interest in necromancy--the consultation of the dead for divination. People could seek knowledge from the dead by sleeping on tombs, visiting oracles, and attempting to reanimate corpses and skulls. Ranging over many of the lands in which Greek and Roman civilizations flourished, including Egypt, from the Greek archaic period through the late Roman empire, this book is the first comprehensive survey of the subject ever published in any language.
  6. Forbidden Rites: A Necromancer's Manual of the Fifteenth Century” by Richard Kieckhefer - Like many medieval texts for the use of magicians, this handbook is a miscellany rather than a systematic treatise. It is exceptional, however, in the scope and variety of its contents—prayers and conjurations, rituals of sympathetic magic, procedures involving astral magic, a catalogue of spirits, lengthy ceremonies for consecrating a book of magic, and other materials.
  7. Ritual Magic” by Elizabeth M. Butler - In this classic book (first published in 1949), Butler explores ritual magic using a wide range of texts from the pre-Christian rites of the Akkadians and Chaldeans to the Solomonic Clavicles of medieval Europe. Throughout, there is extensive quotation from the documents themselves, providing the reader with an authentic sense of the richness and power of these texts.
  8. Conjuring Spirits: Texts and Traditions of Medieval Ritual Magic” edited by Claire Fanger - Included are chapters by Richard Kieckhefer and Robert Mathiesen on the Sworn Book of Honorius, Michael Camille on the Ars Notoria, John B. Friedman on the Secretum Philosophorum, Nicholas Watson on the McMaster text, and Elizabeth Wade on Lullian divination. The work also includes Juris Lidaka's edition of the Liber de Angelis, and an overview of late medieval English ritual manuscripts by Frank Klaassen.
  9. The Fortunes of Faust” by Elizabeth M. Butler - Butler follows the magic tradition of the Magus—the priest-king—and its reformulation in the Christian world. In the process, the Magus was transformed into a wicked sorcerer who comes to a bad end in this world and a worse one hereafter. This conception, which gained ground in the Middle Ages, received its most categorical statement in the Faust legend.
  10. The Goetia of Dr. Rudd” by David Rankine & Stephen Skinner - The Goetia of Dr. Rudd explains how the 72 angels of the Shemhamphorash are used to evoke and safely bind demons—material that has not been made available in any previous edition. This rare volume contains a transcription of a hitherto unpublished manuscript of the Lemegeton and includes illustrations drawn from rare manuscripts held in the British Library.
  11. The Complete Magician’s Tables” by Stephen Skinner - The sources of this remarkable compilation range from classic grimoires such as the Sworn Book to modern theories of prime numbers and atomic weights. Data from Peter de Abano, Abbott Trithemium, Albertus Magnus, Cornelius Agrippa, and other prominent scholars is referenced here, in addition to hidden gems found in unpublished medieval grimoires and Kabbalistic works.
  12. The Keys to the Gateway of Magic: Summoning the Solomonic Archangels and Demon Princes” by Stephen Skinner & David Rankine - This classic text of the Nine Great Keys details the invocation of the Archangels, the full hierarchy of spiritual beings (including Olympic Spirits and Elementals) and the evocation of the four Demon Princes
  13. Three Books of Occult Philosophy” by Henry Cornelius Agrippa & edited by Donald Tyson - How magicians collect virtues from the three-fold World, is declared in these three books. Seeing there is a three-fold World, Elementary, Celestial, and Intellectual, and every inferior is governed by its superior. Indispensable.
  14. The Complete Picatrix: The Occult Classic Of Astrological Magic Liber Atratus” translated by John Michael Greer & Christopher Warnock - The Picatrix is the most famous grimoire of astrological magic and one of the most important works of medieval and Renaissance magic. With all four books of the Latin Picatrix complete in one volume, the Picatrix is an encyclopedic work with over 300 pages of Hermetic magical philosophy, ritual, talismanic and natural magic.
  15. Secrets of the Magical Grimoires Revealed” by Aaron Leitch - The magickal methods and esoteric knowledge of medieval Europe (476 to 1453 C.E.) form the ancestral backbone of modern ceremonial magick. To understand medieval magick, it’s necessary to know the primary repositories of this knowledge - the grimoires of spells, incantations, and ritual instructions for working with angels and conjuring spirits. And to understand the grimoires, you must delve into the life and times of the magicians who wrote them.
  16. The True Grimoire” by Jake Kent-Stratton - The True Grimoire is a major contribution to the practice and study of Goetic magic. The neglected Grimorium Verum has been restored to it's rightful place as a potent and coherent system of Goetic magic. Jake Stratton-Kent has reconstructed a working version from the corrupted Italian and French versions of this important grimoire.
  17. Geosophia: The Argo of Magic” by Jake Stratton-Kent - Geosophia traces the development of magic from the Greeks to the grimoires, laying bare the chthonic roots of goetic ritual. By exposing the necromantic origins of much of modern magic we are able to reconnect with the source of our ritual tradition. There is a continuity of practice in the West which encompasses the pre-Olympian cults of Dionysus and Cybele, is found in the Greek Magical Papyri and Picatrix and flows into the grimoires.
  18. "Ancient Christian Magic: Coptic Texts of Ritual Power" by Marvin W. Meyer & Richard Smith - This provocative collection of rites, spells, amulets, curses, and recipes of the early Coptic Christians documents Christianity as a living folk religion resembling other popular belief systems - something quite different from what theological and doctrinal traditions have led us to believe.
  19. Invoking Angels: Theurgic Ideas and Practices, Thirteenth to Sixteenth Centuries” edited by Claire Fanger - Bring0s together a tightly themed collection of essays on late medieval and early modern texts concerned with the role of angels in the cosmos, focusing on angelic rituals and spiritual cosmologies. Collectively, these essays tie medieval angel magic texts more clearly to medieval religion and to the better-known author-magicians of the early modern period.
  20. The Testament of Cyprian the Mage” by Jake Stratton-Kent - An ambitious and far-seeing work, addressing two ends of the magical spectrum: the Testament of Solomon and one version of the Iberian Book of Saint Cyprian. In doing so, key aspects of magical practice are revealed. This work draws upon these texts to create a clear understanding of the practice of grimoire magic, not as a discrete or degenerate subset of ceremonial magic, but one which is integrated with folk magic and witchcraft.
  21. Veritable Key of Solomon” by Stephen Skinner & David Rankine - Based on one of the best-known grimoires of the Western world, The Veritable Key of Solomon presents all aspects of this revered magical system in one impressive source.
  22. The Magical Treatise of Solomon, or Hygromanteia” by Ioannis Marathakis - The true source of the Key of Solomon, it is arguably the most significant magical text in the world. For the first time ever, this extraordinary work has been translated from the original Greek into English.
  23. Magic, Witchcraft and Ghosts in the Greek and Roman World: A Sourcebook” by Daniel Ogden - Contains three hundred texts in new translations, along with brief but explicit commentaries. Alongside descriptions of sorcerers, witches, and ghosts in the works of ancient writers, it reproduces curse tablets, spells from ancient magical recipe books, and inscriptions from magical amulets.
  24. Ancient Jewish Magic: A History” by Gideon Bohak - Gives a pioneering account of the broad history of ancient Jewish magic, from the Second Temple to the rabbinic period. It is based both on ancient magicians' own compositions and products in Aramaic, Hebrew and Greek, and on the descriptions and prescriptions of non-magicians, to reconstruct a historical picture that is as balanced and nuanced as possible.
  25. John Dee's Natural Philosophy: Between Science and Religion” by Nicholas Clulee - Thoroughly examining Dee’s natural philosophy, this book provides a balanced evaluation of his place, and the role of the occult, in sixteenth-century intellectual history. It brings together insights from a study of Dee’s writings, the available biographical material, and his sources as reflected in his extensive library and, more importantly, numerous surviving annotated volumes from it.
  26. Grimoires: A History of Magic Books” by Owen Davies - Put simply, grimoires are books of spells that were first recorded in the Ancient Middle East and which have developed and spread across much of the Western Hemisphere and beyond over the ensuing millennia. At their most benign, they contain charms and remedies for natural and supernatural ailments and advice on contacting spirits to help find treasures and protect from evil. But at their most sinister they provide instructions on how to manipulate people for corrupt purposes and, worst of all, to call up and make a pact with the Devil. Both types have proven remarkably resilient and adaptable and retain much of their relevance and fascination to this day.
  27. The Language of Demons and Angels: Cornelius Agrippa's Occult Philosophy” by Christopher I. Lehrich - The analysis walks the reader through the text of De Occulta Philosophia, Agrippa's 1533 masterpiece, explicating the often hidden structure and argument of the work.
  28. Thrice-Greatest Hermes; Studies in Hellenistic Theosophy and Gnosis” by G. R. S. Mead - Three Volumes bound into one. Volume contents are: Vol. 1. Prolegomena. -- Vol. 2. Sermons. -- Vol. 3. Excerpts and fragments.
  29. The Egyptian Hermes: A Historical Approach to the Late Pagan Mind” by Garth Fowden - Starting from the complex fusions and tensions that molded Graeco-Egyptian culture, and in particular Hermetism, during the centuries after Alexander, the author argues that the technical and philosophical Hermetica, apparently so different, might be seen as aspects of a single "way of Hermes".
  30. Restless Dead: Encounters between the Living and the Dead in Ancient Greece” by Sarah Illes Johnston - Topics of focus include the origin of the goes (the ritual practitioner who made interaction with the dead his specialty), the threat to the living presented by the ghosts of those who died dishonorably or prematurely, the development of Hecate into a mistress of ghosts and its connection to female rites of transition, and the complex nature of the Erinyes.
  31. Hekate Soteira: A Study of Hekate's Roles in the Chaldean Oracles and Related Literature” by Sarah Illes Johnston - Hekate is best known to classicists and historians of religion as the horrific patroness of witches. But from the Hellenistic age onward, some Greek and Roman philosophers and magicians portrayed her quite differently.
  32. Magic and Ritual in the Ancient World” edited by Paul Mirecki and Marvin Meyer.
  33. Marsilio Ficino: His Theology, His Philosophy, His Legacy” edited by V. Rees, Michael J. B. Allen & Valery Rees - This volume consists of 21 essays on Marsilio Ficino (1433-99), the great Florentine scholar, philosopher and priest who was the architect of Renaissance Platonism and whose long-lasting influence on philosophy, love and music theory, medicine and magic extended across Europe.
  34. Secrets of Nature: Astrology and Alchemy in Early Modern Europe” edited by William R. Newman & Anthony Grafton - Shows the many ways in which astrology and alchemy diverge as well as intersect. Overall, it shows how an appreciation of the role of the occult opens up new ways of understanding the past.
  35. Trithemius and Magical Theology: A Chapter in the Controversy over Occult Studies in Early Modern Europe” by Noel L. Brann - This is a very useful, exciting and informative text for those interested in the philosophy and theology behind Renaissance Magic. Mentor to Agrippa, pioneer of cryptography, Trithemius is one of the most important (and well-placed in Church history) yet difficult to understand of the great Renaissance writers on magic, and this book provides a detailed but readable introduction to his views on the subject.
  36. John Dee's Conversations with Angels” by Deborah E. Harkness - John Dee's angel conversations have been an enigmatic facet of Elizabethan England's most famous natural philosopher's life and work. Professor Harkness contextualizes Dee's angel conversations within the natural philosophical, religious and social contexts of his time. She argues that they represent a continuing development of John Dee's earlier concerns and interests. These conversations include discussions of the natural world, the practice of natural philosophy, and the apocalypse.
  37. John Dee's Occultism: Magical Exaltation Through Powerful Signs” by Gyorgy E. Szonyi - Presents an analysis of Renaissance occultism and its place in the chronology of European cultural history. Culling examples of "magical thinking" from classical, medieval, and Renaissance philosophers, Szonyi revisits the body of Dee's own scientific and spiritual writings as reflective sources of traditional mysticism.
  38. The Arch Conjuror of England: John Dee” by Glyn Parry - Explores Dee’s vast array of political, magical, and scientific writings and finds that they cast significant new light on policy struggles in the Elizabethan court, conservative attacks on magic, and Europe's religious wars. John Dee was more than just a fringe magus, Parry shows Dee was a major figure of the Reformation and Renaissance.
  39. The Eternal Hermes: From Greek God to Alchemical Magus” by Antoine Favre - Drawing upon rare books and manuscripts, this highly illustrated work explores the question of where Hermes Trismegistus came from how he came to be a patron of the esoteric traditions and how the figure of Hermes has remained lively and inspiring to our own day.
  40. Glamorous Sorcery: Magic and Literacy in the High Middle Ages” by David Rollo - Demonstrates how closely interconnected certain types of vernacular and Latin writing were in this period. Uncovered through a series of illuminating, incisive, and often surprising close readings, these connections give us a new, more complex appraisal of the relationship between literacy, social status, and political power in a time and place in which various languages competed for cultural sovereignty-at a critical juncture in the cultural history of the West.
  41. Unlocked Books: Manuscripts of Learned Magic in the Medieval Libraries of Central Europe” by Benedek Láng - During the Middle Ages, the Western world translated the incredible Arabic scientific corpus and imported it into Western culture: Arabic philosophy, optics, and physics, as well as alchemy, astrology, and talismanic magic. The line between the scientific and the magical was blurred. According to popular lore, magicians of the Middle Ages were trained in the art of magic in “magician schools” located in various metropolitan areas, such as Naples, Athens, and Toledo.
  42. The History of Magic and Experimental Science” by Lynn Thorndike.
  43. The Mechanics of Ancient Egyptian Magical Practice” by Robert K. Ritner - This study represents the first critical examination of "magical techniques," revealing their widespread appearance and pivotal significance for all Egyptian "religious" practices from the earliest periods through the Coptic era, influencing as well the Greco-Egyptian magical papyri.
  44. Eternal Egypt: Ancient Rituals for the Modern World” by Richard J. Reidy - The first comprehensive collection of important temple rituals performed throughout Egypt during the time of the pharaohs. The author presents seven key rites from official temple records and ancient esoteric texts for personal or group use.
  45. Arguing With Angels” by Egil Asprem - Examining this magical system from its Renaissance origins to present day occultism, Egil Asprem shows how the reception of Dee’s magic is replete with struggles to construct and negotiate authoritative interpretational frameworks for doing magic. Arguing with Angels offers a novel, nuanced approach to questions about how ritual magic has survived the advent of modernity and demonstrates the ways in which modern culture has recreated magical discourse.
  46. Dictionary of Gnosis & Western Esotericism” by Wouter J. Hanegraaff - This is the first comprehensive reference work to cover the entire domain of “Gnosis and Western Esotericism” from the period of Late Antiquity to the present. Containing around 400 articles by over 180 international specialists, it provides critical overviews discussing the nature and historical development of all its important currents and manifestations, from Gnosticism and Hermetism to Astrology, Alchemy and Magic, from the Hermetic Tradition of the Renaissance to Rosicrucianism and Christian Theosophy, and from Freemasonry and Illuminism to 19th-century Occultism and the contemporary New Age movement.
  47. The Alchemy of Light: Geometry and Optics in Late Renaissance Alchemical Illustration” by Ursula Szulakowska - This study concerns the late Renaissance metaphysics of light in its adoption to a Paracelsian alchemical context by John Dee, Heinrich Khunrath, Michael Maier and Robert Fludd. he volume includes 50 illustrations from alchemical treatises of the period, the emphasis being placed on Khunrath's "Amphiteatrum Sapientiea Aeternae" (1595-1609). The study investigates these images using analytical tools drawn from semiotics, structuralism and post-structuralism.
  48. Theurgy and the Soul: The Neoplatonism of Iamblichus” by Gregory Shaw - A study of Iamblichus of Syria (ca. 240-325), whose teachings set the final form of pagan spirituality prior to the Christianization of the Roman Empire. Shaw focuses on the theory and practice of theurgy, the most controversial and significant aspect of Iamblichus's Platonism.
  49. Platonic Theology, Volume 1: Books I-IV” by Marsilio Ficino, edited by James Hankins - A visionary work and philosophical masterpiece of Marsilio Ficino (1433-1499), the Florentine scholar-philosopher-magus who was largely responsible for the Renaissance revival of Plato. A student of the Neoplatonic schools of Plotinus and Proclus, Ficino was committed to reconciling Platonism with Christianity, in the hope that such a reconciliation would initiate a spiritual revival and return of the golden age. This is one of the keys to understanding the art, thought, culture, and spirituality of the Renaissance.
  50. Giordano Bruno and Renaissance Science” by Hilary Gatti - This argument, associated with the work of Frances Yates, holds that early modern science was impregnated with and shaped by Hermetic and occult traditions, and has led scholars to view Bruno primarily as a magus.
  51. De Umbris Idearum” (The Collected Works of Giordano Bruno, Book 1)” by Giordano Bruno, edited by Scott Gosnell - To memorize anything, distribute vivid, emotionally stirring imagined images around a piece of familiar architecture. This is the method of loci, or memory palace method, first developed in classical antiquity.
  52. "Hermes: Guide of Souls" by Karl Kerenyi, translated by Murray Stein - Presents an authoritative study of the great god Hermes whom the Greeks revered as the Guides of Souls as well as the complex role of Hermes in classical mythology.
  53. Ritual Texts for the Afterlife: Orpheus and the Bacchic Gold Tablets” by Fritz Graf and Sarah Illes Johnston - Fascinating texts written on small gold tablets that were deposited in graves provide a unique source of information about what some Greeks and Romans believed regarding the fate that awaited them after death, and how they could influence it. These texts, dating from the late fifth century BCE to the second century CE, have been part of the scholarly debate on ancient afterlife beliefs since the end of the nineteenth century. The tablets belonged to those who had been initiated into the mysteries of Dionysus Bacchius and relied heavily upon myths narrated in poems ascribed to the mythical singer Orpheus.
  54. Magic and Magicians in the Greco-Roman World” by Matthew W. Dickie - This study is the first to assemble the evidence for the existence of sorcerors in the ancient world; it also addresses the question of their identity and social origins. The resulting investigation takes us to the underside of Greek and Roman society, into a world of wandering holy men and women, conjurors and wonder-workers, and into the lives of prostitutes, procuresses, charioteers and theatrical performers.

Further Resources
PDF’s:
Seeing The Word: John Dee and Renaissance Occultism” by Hakan Hakannson http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Seeing+the+Word%3A+John+Dee+and+Renaissance+Occultism.+.-a099012024

Miscellaneous Articles:
Khunrath by Peter Forshaw
http://uva.academia.edu/PeterForshaw
Enoch Traditions by Andrei Orlov
http://www.marquette.edu/maqom/metatronyouth.html
Hermes, Proclus, and the Question of A Philosophy of Magic in the Renaissance by Copenhaver

Websites & Blogs:
Brian P. Copenhaver
http://www.cmrs.ucla.edu/brian/index.htm
Claire Fanger:
http://rice.academia.edu/ClaireFanger
Wouter J. Hanegraaff: http://uva.academia.edu/WouterHanegraaff
The Ritman Library
https://www.youtube.com/useTheRitmanLibrary/videos

Scholarly Journals:
Dionysius
http://www.dal.ca/faculty/arts/classics/journals/dionysius.html
Aries: Journal for the Study of Western Esotericism
http://www.brill.com/aries
Copyright www.molochsorcery.com All Rights Reserved
submitted by Brother_Moloch_969 to magick [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 16:47 BuckRowdy [Update] The rise and fall and the depths of depravity of pedophile Jared Fogle from Subway.

This is an updated and edited version of a post I originally submitted at /redditcrimecommunity. It's been updated with the latest info.
I used to be kind of obsessed with the idea of Jared from Subway. He always seemed like nothing more than wallpaper in a commercial, a guy whose job amounted to holding up a comically giant pair of pants for seconds at a time in commercials. How much do you think they paid that guy to do that?
I used to search to see if I could find out Jared's salary or his net worth because to me it seemed like he had the easiest job in the world. Just stand there and smile, hold up the giant pants, shake a few kids hands at store openings and other corporate promotional events; essentially play the character of Jared from the Subway commercials.
The Midwestern everyman who once weighed over 425 pounds and lost it all by eating at Subway every day. Of course the fine print at the bottom of the screen gave the wider context to his weight loss routine, but there was a much wider, much darker context to Jared's story that would only be revealed years later.
Jared started working for Subway in 2000. By 2005 they had stopped featuring him in commercials and their sales declined by 10%. They quickly reinstated him and he was a fixture ever since.
It is true that Jared did lose the weight, and he did do it in part by eating at Subway.
At this point it would be reasonable to ask how did he get the money as a college student to eat all his meals at Subway?
Because he was running a porn video rental business out of his apartment at the time and had an extensive collection. You've got to remember that this was in an era where media of all types was more difficult to obtain. You didn't have everything at your fingertips back then.
Subway opened up on the ground floor and Jared was lazy so he started eating all his meals there.
The rest of Jared's story is marketing mythology. A friend wrote an article in the student newspaper that got published in Men's Health which caught the eye of Subway's marketing department. Jared started working for Subway in 2000 and up until about 2007 it appeared to be a marketing master stroke. That's when the reports started trickling out. In 2007, TMZ published the story about the porn rental business.
We'd learn later that as early as 2008, Subway had received serious reports about Jared from a franchisee in Florida that Jared had befriended at a few store openings. Cindy Mills, the franchisee said:
"He would just tell me he really liked them young," she says. Fogle and Mills had a sexual relationship, which lead Fogle to disclose disturbing details of his criminal activity in lewd text messages.
Mills says she tried to blow the whistle by phoning ad executive Jeff Moody — then CEO of the Subway Franchisee Advertising Fund Trust (SFAFT) — after Fogle had told her that he had sex both in Thailand and the US with child prostitutes between the ages of 9 and 16 years old. According to Mills, Moody stopped her mid-conversation and said, "Don't worry, he has met someone. She is a teacher and he seems to love her very much, and we think she will help keep him grounded." Mills also claims she spoke with two more SFAFT execs after Moody, but ran into more dead ends.
Jared was up to no good for years, but his world really started to crumble in 2015 with the arrest of Russell Taylor. Taylor was Jared's partner in his non-profit charity and he was just as bad as Jared if not worse.
Russell Taylor, the former director of Fogle's anti-childhood obesity foundation, was arrested in April [of 2015] on three counts of possession of child pornography, three counts of child exploitation, and three counts of voyeurism.
Taylor had gotten in trouble for texting a woman a picture of bestiality and suggesting such between the two of them. It's a sick thing to think about, but that's just what Jared and Russell were up to.
In one of those text messages, according to the affidavit, “Russell Taylor asked her if he and another adult female she identified could come to Jane Doe’s residence and engage in” an act of bestiality. The woman did not agree to that request, but told investigators “you could tell (Taylor) was serious.” She also told investigators that “she received an image file via text from Russell Taylor that depicted (another act of bestiality).”
Jared's house was raided and the rest quickly became history. Subway dropped him. Sharknado 3 dropped him. Jared accused Taylor of fraud and sued him. One quarter of the funds of the charity were unaccounted for, and the only money they ever paid out went to Taylor's $73k salary.
I'm no professional but it's hard not to draw the conclusion that Jared was paying Taylor to produce child porn with a non profit charity.
The world found out about Jared in 2015, but in 2007 and 2008 two women were finding out a lot about Jared.
Jared had met a franchisee in Florida and started a sexual relationship with her. She called the FBI when Jared started texting stuff like this:
In one series of texts sent from April 2008, Fogle tries to convince the franchisee, a woman, to advertise herself for sex on Craigslist. She could make $500 per act he explains and he could watch her have sex with other men. Fogle then goes on to apparently admit to paying for sex with a 16-year-old girl off Craigslist.
The woman franchisee writes: "Is this the same website you found that 16 year old you that you f---ed?" the woman replied, according to an affadavit.
  • "I still can't believe you only paid $100 for her."
  • Fogle reponds: "It was amazing!!!!"
  • "What part of her ad made you think she was selling sex?" the woman asked.
  • Fogle says "U will have to read them to see."
The woman got a lawyer and submitted the texts to Subway who sat on them.
Around the same time, Jared met Rochelle Herman Walrond, a journalist who initially remained anonymous, who came forward and said that she got suspicious about Jared when he called middle school girls hot
According to the woman, Jared would often visit schools in Sarasota County, and allegedly told her numerous times that, 'Middle school girls are hot.'"
She contacted the FBI who asked her to wear a wire. She went on to record Jared over a nearly 5 year period, pleading with the FBI to go ahead and arrest him with them always saying that they didn't have enough evidence and needed more.
So she tried to get Jared to incriminate himself. Over that 4.5 year period they talked about a lot of stuff, like that Jared wanted to fly to Thailand to have sex with children.
"I would fly all three of us clear across the world if we need to,"[Jared] says on the tape. "It would just make things a lot easier — if we're going to try and get some young kids with us. It would be a lot easier probably."
He gave her grooming tips:
"Well, if we get them segregated out ... you know, start talking or whatever ... and we get a little closer, and a little closer and a little closer and before you know it ... it just starts to happen," the man's voice says. "But I think that girl from the broken home could be a possibility, you know."
He daydreamed on the phone:
"Do you want to watch me f— a young girl, too?" the voice of Fogle asks. "Will you f— a young boy?" When Herman-Walrond asks if that would turn Fogle on, he responds with a whispered "yeah."
“I had a little boy. It was amazing,” Fogle reportedly said, in response to a question about being with children. “It just felt so good. I mean, it felt—it felt so good.”
He also, allegedly, asked her repeatedly to let him install hidden cameras in her kids’ rooms.
“I had two young children at the time, and he talked to me about installing hidden cameras in their rooms and asked me if I would choose which child I would like him to watch,” she told Inside Edition.
The audio recordings can be heard at this link. She reported him to Subway in 2009 and nothing happened.
At the same time this was happening, Jared was flying to New York to pay for sex with minors. He asked the minors who he paid for sex if they knew anyone else they could recommend, always stressing younger if possible.
Also, according to the charging documents:
Fogle received "images and videos of nude of partially clothed minors engaged in sexually explicit conduct," which were allegedly recorded by Russell Taylor, the former director of the Jared Foundation.
Taylor secretly filmed some of the minors in his home using hidden cameras that captured them changing clothes and bathing.
Taylor was in possession of 400 videos of child pornography upon his arrest.
In 2011, someone else reported Jared to Subway via their website and yet nothing happened.
All this came raining down on Jared in 2015 when his house was raided and he was arrested and later charged with 14 acts of sex involving minors. He was ultimately sentenced to 15 years in jail and had to pay restitution to his 14 of his many victims totaling $1.4 million. His wife divorced him as quick as she could, Subway cut ties with him and the dominoes started to tumble.
All of a sudden the past reports about Jared came to light and Subway didn't have an explanation. Lawsuits started flying. Jared's now ex wife accused Subway of covering up Jared's pedophilia even from her because their marriage made Jared more grounded and more marketable.
It's now a sick joke, but at the same time of jared's arrest, Subway was trying to rebrand him as a family man.
So why didn't Subway act on the various reports it had gotten about Jared over the years? As this site puts it, it was a story bookended by laziness. Jared's laziness brought him to Subway, and their laziness in vetting stories led to the end of the Jared era with a lot of human misery left in his wake.
Subway has waffled in its response. Rather than taking the path of clear messaging and communication, and aiming to transparent and authentic throughout this terrible situation for the victims and Fogle’s family (as well as the brand), the company hasn’t been clear about where it stands in the midst of this crisis. What message was Subway sending to its employees and franchisees by keeping Fogle around for as long as it did?
As soon as he went to jail he instantly gained 30 pounds
In 2016, he filed an appeal which was denied. The DA's office argued:
[that] Fogle's text messages to a woman, in which Fogle stated he would "pay big" if she could procure 14-year-old children, and that he "craved" underage Asian girls. In these text messages, he also expressed sexual interest in young boys, although there is to date no evidence that he paid for sex with male children.
Later that same year, a brawl broke out and Jared was nearly killed in an attack meant to send a message to all pedophiles.
Other than that, rumor has it that Jared has it pretty easy in jail which is disappointing to hear given all that he's responsible for.
In 2017, Fogle tried to pull the Sovereign Citizen defense and claim that the feds didn't have jurisdiction over him which I imagine gave the feds a good laugh. The motion was dismissed.
In 2018, Jared sued to void his conviction going so far as to name the president (among others) as a defendant. It was unclear how the president was involved and Jared was forced to remove him as a defendant.
He claimed:
he was wrongfully allowed to plead guilty to conspiracy to receive child pornography, claiming that conspiracy doesn’t apply to such an offense.
His suit was dismissed.
That same year a woman pen pal of Jared's sold their racy letters to Radar Online. Seen here and here. She also sold a recorded phone call where she and Jared discuss porn and his sexual preferences.
If he wanted to appeal to a parole board, surely sending hand-drawn pictures of his genitalia that later end up on radar online is not a good strategy.
In March 2020, three of associate Russell Taylor's child pornography convictions were overturned for ineffective counsel. He still faces trial on 9 other charges.
In the five years since Fogle was arrested, Subway has been reeling. In 2015, their co-founder passed away and a new CEO was brought in. Internal reports indicate that customer traffic is down 30%. They've laid off over 400 people from the corporate HQ and this summer they had to revoke a promotion due to a franchisee revolt over the pricing.
Subway was associated so long with Jared it may take time for customers to form a new association. They tried to drop him once, struggled, and re-hired him. Clearly Subway lived in denial while Jared was their spokesman and looked the other way as business boomed. The new marketing strategy involves athletes. Time will only tell if they can recover from one of the worst scandals to ever hit a sandwich chain.
As of September 2020, Russell Taylor was being held at a federal prison in Yazoo City, Mississippi; Fogle was being held at a federal prison in Littleton, Colorado.
submitted by BuckRowdy to TrueCrime [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 04:40 ThrowRA_Potatobake I (29M) haven't had a relationship in almost 10 years, likely related to unpleasant experience.

Hi reddit.
As the title suggests I'm a 29 year old male who hasn't been in a relationship for a little under a decade, and I'm incredibly lonely. Before I ask for advice though I should give you some background; When I was 15 I met a girl in highschool who I started going out with, we were together on and off for about four years, I wasn't really mature enough to know at the time but it was not a healthy relationship.
Some examples of things I put up with thinking it was all worth it for "love" (trust me I think it's relevant):
There was more but I don't want this post to be all about her, in the end she cheated on me with one of the guys she told me I was just being paranoid about who she shamed me for not trusting her with. I found out through a mutual friend that she ended up marrying him.
So back to me I guess, since this relationship ended I've struggled with progressively worse generalized anxiety and major depressive disorder (both of which I take medication for) over the course of the last 9-10 years, additionally I've recently been diagnosed as on the spectrum.
I haven't been in anything close to a serious relationship and frankly I find even basic flirting very difficult, I feel like I missed the main developmental period where one learns to interact with potential partners and have no idea how to do so.
So in addition to having no idea how to seek out a potential partner, I also have no idea when I've found one, and can't develop any sort of rapport due to trust issues and mental health. I've told myself that I'll find someone when the time is right but it's starting to feel like I'm lying to myself.
I've tried online dating and even tinder but haven't had much success, I don't really think they're suited to what I'm looking for. Ultimately I'm looking for advice on how to learn to meet women and actually interact with them, tell when they're interested etc. and make myself appear more available without seeming desperate.
Thankyou in advance for any helpful advice you can provide.
TL:DR: Dude had a bad relationship during his formative years and doesn't know how to talk to and/or meet women.
submitted by ThrowRA_Potatobake to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 03:41 novaarah My boyfriend's mother has been hoovering him all along

First, off, thanks to everyone who gave me advice on my last post. I've done some research on all the terms used and "hoovering" is 100% what his mom (I will refer to her as BFM) does to him! When I was reading the description and examples of such behavior I started shaking. It literally is spot on.

Some context. BF is 35 and an only child born to parents who conceived him later in life. BFM is 70, dad is 80. Dad has another son but the son is not close to him nor does he bring his kids around. I don't know the reason why, but I have an idea. I've been dating BF for a year and a half. He is 10 years older than me. Early on in the relationship I noticed he had a very volatile relationship with his mother. As soon as he sees she's calling he has an instant attitude. He calls her a bitch, cunt, asshole etc to her face and on the phone. I do not approve of this but hey, can't say I disagree with the bitch part. They speak daily multiple times a day and all the calls usually begin and end with screaming, nevertheless he always picks up.

I met his parents much earlier in our relationship than I would've liked and they had no consideration that I was a guest and maybe they should at least pretend to be normal when I was around. I was spectator to many fights between the 3 and it has really made me not want to be around them. I only see them now if I have no choice eg: they stop by the house to do something with BF. I truly do not want a relationship with either of them and although BF makes comments, I stand my ground. BFM has even remarked to BF that it doesn't seem like I want to get to know them. BF had a problem with this when I basically told him that's correct. I basically said I am dating him not them and he tends to leave it alone.

Anyway, some of the things she does:
-Calls him non stop asking him to do things for her. She needs this. The dog peed on the floor again can you bring puppy pads etc instead of just taking the dog outside to do his business like normal people. Yes I said dog. The dog is not a puppy.
-Calls constantly claiming that there is an emergency. Eg: after the last storm they received some damage to their house, BF had to go immediately to take pictures of the damage. She is perfectly capable of taking a damn picture. Another example she'll call and say they have no food and they won't possibly be able to make it through the night. BF gets there they have plenty of food.
-Makes us feel guilty for travelling. Before I met BF I was a solo female traveller. I went away every 3 months to a new country. It is important that BF enjoys travelling too. A few months into relationship I planned a trip, BFM thinks of every excuse possible why we should cancel. His dad has x amount of doctors visits, might have to have surgery, it's hurricane season, the country we are going is dangerous, it's too far what if something happens. Then once we leave she calls multiple times DAILY reminding us we are selfish for leaving them.
-Involves BF in her marital disputes. She will literally call her grown son screaming because her husband, his father called her a bitch. Yes it's not nice, but he calls her a bitch every day. Why is it necessary to call your grown son to bog him down with your marital disputes constantly and force him to mediate.
- Constantly complaining about being a full time caregiver to her husband yet seeks so alternative care for him. She calls almost daily saying she is overwhelmed, stressed, just wants to pack up and go back to her home country. This then makes BF feel as though he has to help her so he stops what he's doing to go pick up his dad and drives around with him all day when he should be working. This happens at least once a week.
- They demand full access to BF. When I first met my BF his dad would call at least 5-6 times in an hour just to say hello. When BF blocked his number, dad would fill up his voicemail and all messages said "call me please". This gets in the way of my bf's business if his mailbox is constantly full and it's also damn annoying when there is never any emergency. Anyway they were so pissed my BF dare not respond to their calls they deactivated his phone!! It's a family company phone FYI and only reactivated it under the condition BF is available for them when they call
- Constantly buying us things and preparing him food to go when he comes to visit them. This woman has bought me so much stuff and I feel uncomfortable because it is so often. Most of the stuff I have no use for or it's just plain ugly. She buys BF clothes, shoes, nic nacs etc and is alwayssss sending him home with food she prepared for him. My kitchen is overrun with her food containers but I don't return them in hopes she'll run out and won't be able to send him anything. The food usually just sits in the fridge and goes bad because BF enjoys my cooking and I cook every day. I tell him to stop accepting it because it's wasteful. He says he can't because she's doing it to be nice...wtf?
-Involves herself in everything. I travelled by myself recently for business (told BF not to come cuz I wanted to enjoy my vacation and not have to deal with the doom mongers that are his parents complaining about coronavirus and how we're selfish for travelling at such a time and putting them at risk yada yada) and this woman sent at least 20 emails suggesting things that I should do/see when I'm there. Keep in mind it was a 3 day trip and I'd been to this country before and she knew that. I read a few of them and sent the obligatory thank you e-mail back to her but god damn, she is just so excessive. Luckily I sent the thank you message soon enough so she didn't have time to complain to BF about me not appreciating all she does.

I'll wrap it up there, don't want this to be too long, but there is more, so much more. I am starting to find my voice a bit. Today I made quite a few comments and I could tell he was agreeing with me. Don't want to drill it into him too soon cuz he doesn't see anything wrong with what she does for the most part.
ETA: One thing she does that really pisses me off, she is constantly encouraging BF to contact his ex regarding business. Context: BF's ex is 50 and was in charge of helping BF and family save their family business. BF has been clear that he will not have any contact with the ex and even the ex has made it clear she wants nothing to do with him, yet BFM is constantly suggesting he send her emails regarding the ongoing day to day running of the business even though everyone involved besides her realizes it's time to go separate ways. I find this highly disrespectful and the next time it happens I will let that be known.
submitted by novaarah to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 02:52 nurseykat *At A Loss Dating A Single Dad*

Hi there!
I'm a 34 year old female and my boyfriend is 39. He has a 5 year old son. We've been dating for almost a year and I moved into his place 2 months ago. This is my first experience dating a single parent.
We're both nurses in the same facility where we first met. I have a long history dating men who treated me poorly, and my bf is the first man who treats me with respect and kindness. He's saint-like in his patience level, and how much he cares about me. It's actually taken some adjustment being with him because I've never been treated so well. Sex is great, we laugh, we play fight. He's perfect. I think a lot of people my age can relate to the fact that if you're in your 30's and you find a good one (very rare) you keep him. Dating isn't easy and I would rather jump off a cliff than do it again, tbh.
Although I couldn't ask for a better guy, he comes with a son and....that's where things get tricky for me. First off, I'm a not a kid person. I'm very nurturing and caring at heart but kids? Eh. I feel like a horrible person even saying that but it's true and I want to be honest. Prior to moving in his son and I hadn't had a lot of time together but the time we did have went really well...and then I moved in and things have fallen apart.
My bf is a great dad and has his son 3 days a week. While he looks forward to the arrival of his son, I dread it. Again, I feel awful admitting that. His son is a pretty good kid in general but if you tell him something he doesn't like he throws a fake crying fit and my bf gives into it. He's also overly attached to his dad and needs to be on the same floor level of him at all times or he gets scared. That makes it tricky when he try to grab a moment to talk. I've tried engaging with his son a little but I don't get much out of him. Mostly he just wants to be with his dad which I understand. I just feel like a third wheel. I don't know where my place is when he's here. Him and his dad spend most of the day playing video games and I just don't know where my place is with that. I almost feel like this isn't my home when his son is here. Like any kid who has a new "step parent" he doesn't want me to take his dad's attention and time. He's becoming manipulative in efforts to claim his dad and my bf doesn't see it.
My bf and I fight frequently now and it's all stemming from the resentment I have over essentially having to share my partner and not enjoying the person I have to share him with. I feel so childish saying that but that's what it is dating a single parent. You don't really have them on the days they have their child and it's awful.
I've tried getting closer with his son but I just don't feel a bond there...at all. I just feel annoyed by his presence and I feel so guilty for feeling that way. I just can't get out of my own head about it.
Then I think of his son and how he feels. The last thing I want is for his son to feel my resentment or to feel that I don't like him. I would never want a kid to feel that way. I grew up feeling resented and scared and I would never want another kid to feel that way. It's just becoming visible how much I resent this and I can't help it at this point.
My relationship with my bf is being broken down by all this and I'm desperate for some kind of advice on how to be okay with this. I'm a little dysfunctional in relationships and I try to seek out a reason to be unhappy and I know that's playing a big role in this. My bf knows how I feel and I have an upcoming appointment with a therapist to address these things but I'd really like to hear from all of you. Thank for your thoughts!
submitted by nurseykat to stepparents [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 00:57 foodaddict1217 Forever being single bc of this pandemic

I’m not sure if this post will be of me ranting or seeking advice but this pandemic has really got me thinking a lot about my love life.
I’m 26 y/o female seeking a masters degree and the end goal is dentistry. All my life I’ve been taught to put academics first and everything else wasn’t a priority. Keeping that mind, I never been in a proper serious relationship. Most of last year I was studying for my DATs and took them end of February this year. Basically, i didn’t have a social life let alone a dating life and I thought to myself that finally after my exam, I will have time to start dating and find someone special. Unfortunately due to the pandemic, I haven’t been able to start dating. I’ve been using the apps and talking to most guys through text, but being with someone physically matters so much. I thought meeting someone through my grad program will help but everything is online. Not sure when the vaccine will come out, but it’s really frustrating that when I was ready to pursue a relationship, the pandemic is holding me back.😭
Also, I try to social distance myself as much as I can bc I live with my parents, so meeting up with someone new is quite difficult for me.
EDIT: I didn’t realize my post would become so popular, but I wanted to thank everyone who posted and made me feel better! I just came on here to vent and glad I did, bc I was able to see this pandemic life in a different light and have hope for the best.
submitted by foodaddict1217 to ABCDesis [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 00:45 Noroark 23 [F4A] Looking for a nerd who will make me laugh

Single/Taken/Complicated: Single; has never dated before.
Seeking Relationship/Friends/Squish/Other: Relationship (though I'm not opposed to making friends as well!)
Romantic Orientation: Biromantic
Gender: Cis female
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 23
Height/Build: 5'6.5", 117 lbs.
Physical Description: Pale skin (mostly Italian/Irish). Very long dark brown hair. Green eyes. Glasses. Flat as a board. Kind of ugly, lol.
Personality Description: INTJ. I used to suffer from social anxiety, though I have made a lot of improvement and am continuing to do so. I can still be a little reserved, but once you get to know me, I can be a pretty fun person. When I'm first getting to know someone, I'm most comfortable talking through text. I really enjoy talking about my interests. I'm not exactly quick-witted, but I can come up with clever material if I'm given time to think about it. I'm very introspective; my mental health isn't the greatest, and I like being able to vent to someone (although I hate feeling like a burden). I am also a good listener and eager to help others with their troubles.
Interests: Gaming--I compete in Super Smash Bros. tournaments and I just got into streaming. I'm a big Nintendo fan, and I really like Pokémon and Animal Crossing. I'm not really into movies, TV, or books (aside from popular science). There are a few anime series that I like (mostly Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure), but I'm not super into it. My favorite music genre is alt-rock. I love animals! I have an Australian shepherd, two cats, a chinchilla, seven tarantulas, and some fish. I collect a variety of things, including amiibo and plush Pokémon. I used to write and draw a lot, but now I only do those things every once in a while. I'm a biology nerd, and I'm studying to be a high school living environment teacher.
Location: Western New York. I'm not really interested in a super distant LDR, though I'm willing to date people in neighboring states if we can meet up every now and again.
Notes: I have no preference when it comes to appearance. I'm most attracted to a good sense of humor, and having similar interests is important to me. I don't like physical touch, but I would be willing to cuddling if it would make my partner happy. I'm sex-repulsed and not willing to compromise. My ideal date would be going out for coffee, taking a walk through the woods to look for cool bugs, and then coming home to play some Smash.
submitted by Noroark to asexualdating [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 23:12 WickedlyWilled M[32]. Seeking the opinion from the female perspective involving a self depreciating topic

So it falls back to a longer story rooted from a rough childhood but I’ve always been the introverted loner type. I have a couple close family members but in the way of friends I don’t really have any.
If anyone has seen the movie “I love you man”. It’s kinda like that. Except I’m not clingy in relationships despite the lack of friends as I kinda need some alone times to recharge.
In dating is there any good way to bring out this information without sounding weird or pathetic? I feel like this is especially difficult with online dating where they want to see an active social life in pics etc.
Maybe I really am just a freak of nature so just seeking opinions I guess.
TL;DR: 32 year old guy that has no friends wondering how off putting that is to females when dating/ how it should be presented.
submitted by WickedlyWilled to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 19:30 mangojellyontoast Where do I belong?

So upon doing my own function stack, and spending months thinking about this and being frustrated, I got ISFP, as an adult I’m pretty outgoing so it would have been a hard guess with a outside perspective, tapping into my childhood and breaking my functions down helped but took some soul searching. So for a fun little experiment, what do you think? I’ve been told ISFP (and this is what I stacked myself as) and INFP. Also my enneagram is 9W1
Type Me
• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself?
I’m 25, female from America. I grew up with separated parents from the get go. I was an only child who switched schools and moved a lot, I was always exceptionally smart and excelled at anything I found interesting (English, history, art class) but anything I didn’t like (Math & P.E.) I would put 0 effort into. I’ve always struggled with organizing and simple processes that organized people are good at, Putting shoes on shelf, toys back after your done playing ect. My parents would make me clean my room and I would sit in my room for like 5-8 hours not cleaning because I didn’t want too and drove my parents insane. I was stubborn with things I didn’t want to do beyond words, no bribe was good enough if I didn’t want too. Though most people probably wouldn’t have used stubborn to describe me, I was pretty easy going, go with the flow, don’t enjoy conflict and known to walk on eggshells, but for some reason the few things I chose to be stubborn on were 100%. I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, I had 1-2 here and there but since I moved a lot, bonds were hard to form. I was very good at playing by myself, I played bored games as both people and remember challenging myself to make unbiased game moves against myself, I was very independent and always had a very good understanding of what was going on around me, often referred to as a “little adult” with how I spoke and acted around adults. I had a very good understanding of lying at a young age and how you can lie to make situations better or conceal how shitty things really are. My moms was very unstable and my life was chaotic and I knew I had to lie at school so no red flags were raised. I made up a story to CPS that my mom was just really into being eco friendly and not using resources that negatively impact the environment and then just tried to tell him about composting to stop talking about my mom when I was like 9.. because our power had been off for like 6 months. Anywho, I think I should answer these other questions but that’s my nutshell 🥜
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow? Adhd inattentive
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
I was born into a Jewish family but my mom was essentially the black sheep who didn’t keep up tradition or teach me much, holidays and seeing extended family were where I had all my culture and tradition from since she chose her own path with addiction and dysfunction so I didn’t exactly grow up like my cousins, and I don’t currently practice any religion but still keep up some traditions from my childhood alive without the religious backing.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not? I’m a waitress, it’s okay. It’s not where I want to be but for now it pays my bills and lets me keep up with my hobbies. Good money for the amount or time I have to work which is ideal.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed? depends on when you ask me, on average I tend to love 1 on 1, though I often feel like I spend to much time hanging out and neglect doing things I love that I can only do by myself. I’m really shy about things I put my heart into artistically, I don’t show people my writing, my paintings or anything I actually have to pull from emotion to create. I’m crafty and will show off my little superficial crafts to friends that are fun and silly but never anything that takes real soul searching and emotion. So for that I can’t have people around so sometimes if I havnt had enough time for that, then I’d be fine being alone. Most of the time I like having 1 friend over at my house that I hate leaving but I’m not l a fan of being in a group though do oblige since my friends are very important to me and if it’s important I’m there for them, then it’s important that I’m there.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I danced ballet and that was my main hobby athletically as a kid. I did track for a little while and enjoyed it, I hurdled.
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please explain?
Im very curious. My brain is constantly asking questions and seeking answers. I’m really nosey, but an great secret keeper. My motivation to not divulge gossip and tell secrets comes down to 1) if i tell someone and they find out, then I will no longer be told secrets and I like knowing what’s going on around me and being up to date and the current situation behind closed doors. 2) the conflict coming from telling a secret and being caught is too much, I hate drama and conflict if I’m involved. I only like living vicariously through other people’s drama.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I’m highly competitive, becoming some sort of leader is a prize. Sometimes I get caught in this rut but I have 0 interest in being a boss and having that much responsibility and having that many people to be responsible for. I’m awful at conflict, I don’t wanna fire people. I literally loop myself into this sometimes, I turned down the manager position at my last job after basically securing it through all my extra roles I took on and making myself privy on management duties and processes and a perfect easy train to be manager.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity? I have average coordination, I danced so obviously that helped, I was not a naturally coordinated child by any means. I do enjoy working with my hands, I tend to be a pretty hands on learner, I never read directions before putting things together until I’ve tried to do it by looking at it first, then I’ll stagger through the directions when I get lost.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particularly artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forms of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I wouldn’t say I’m exceptionally gifted when it comes to all forms of art, but I love art. I have a plethora of crafts and projects to always give me an outlet. I watercolor, sew, knit, I love my bullet journal, I think I’m a phenomenal writer when I’m in the right headspace but unfortunately it’s hard to get there. My personal aesthetic is important to me, I express myself through clothes, makeup, hair ect. I’ll search far and wide for a perfect hair clip to compliment my outfit and pull together the mood. Things most wont notice, but for me it completes it. Even with such minuscule things as placing proper lingerie under dresses when going out can often be pulled into the aesthetic when I know nobody will see it, but for me it matters that it’s all balanced and tied together and no detail should be spared. Obviously I have lazy days but more often than not, Im all put together. For me clothes and appearance are a form of art as weird as that sounds.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
Past: My past is often searched through when I need it, I look back and thing about how it effects my present. I don’t particularly dwell on it, “is what it is” kind of situation
Present: I’m impulsive AF and live in the moment more than I lead on. The Future is fucking scary
Future: hopeful maybe I’ll get my shit together but no plans on how to do that yet.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so? I’m happy to help if it doesn’t majorly inconvenience me. I live for small favors, I’m happy to grab coffee, babysit, borrow small amount of money ($10-30 to cover lunch ect), pet sit, give rides home ect though I probably will never offer to drive you to the airport at 5 am or help you move unless I really love you.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life? I suppose not, I believe in some things that simply can’t be proven though few and far between. I tend to stick to facts and evidence when making opinions about things.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you? I wish I was more efficient and productive. I have a great brain but I can be really unmotivated and often procrastinate
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that? I hate this question, Yes I’m very good at controlling certain personalities for my gain though I reserve that skill for good. I can often manipulate a situation to have a good outcome when it’s headed south. I don’t ever use this skill for anything malicious. More or less unpredictable people as a survival technique to avoid escalation.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them? Anything I can create, I love making things. Painting pictures, making a quilt, making candles, photography. I collect hobbies and constantly try new things surrounding crafts and arts. I like reading books, watching movies and listening to music, I love to sing though I’m not very good it’s still something I love doing while driving or alone.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
Memory and creativity are my strongest skills, though memory can be iffy as I tend to have to actually be interested to choose to store it in my brain (math never stuck idk) I remember things in images and little memory videos, text book pages of where I read the answer, images of where I last had my phone because I looked at it when I set it down, image or the word spelled to remember how to spell it ect
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
wing it as I go 100%
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
To be normal and do things I love. I want stability, I want to be organized, I want a decent paying career that makes me happy and isn’t boring, I want a nice middle class home and reliable cars, to be able to afford experiences such as traveling or going to concerts, musicals ect. I want to be able to afford to make my life aesthetically pleasing
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I hate conflict, I just shutdown and it’s the worst feeling ever. I avoid it like the plague. I’m afraid of unpredictable people, I don’t like unexpected behaviors and fear they will become dangerous. I’m afraid of getting in trouble, I follow laws and don’t rock boats. Talking about my feelings makes me uncomfortable, usually I just make jokes to make light or feelings. I have a lot of feelings though. I’m often torn between 1) showing emotion gives somebody an in to your weaknesses and what breaks you down, essentially showing your hand 2) I feel like my feelings are insane sometimes and it’s like a Pandora’s box of bullshit that would be exhausting to explain and hard to follow or understand anyways so it’s not worth the divulge I’m not a robot though, I do divulge feelings on surface level though and when I find somebody who understands and makes me feel comfortable, askes the right questions and digs with the trust established, then I can unload and sometimes can just sorta overwhelm them with the things I can’t talk to anybody else about and then I just feel stupid because I’m pretty sure they think I’m insane cause I word vomited 25 years of feelings and then I’ll usually reel it in and try to not do that again, but if they continue their comforting inquisitive tactics, I can keep going through that cycle.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
People think I’m a good person so that’s pretty cool, I like that people choose to associate me with the good I try to spread. I’m proud of that.
I’m a great mom, I know most people wonder if they’re doing okay, I know I am because that’s the only option I’ve given myself. Raising these humans is such a huge importance in my life , a huge high in my life and I’m proud of who they’re becoming and I love seeing my influence come out when they talk, they speak so kind and positive and it makes me really proud that the way I’ve chosen to guide and influence them really was a good choice and has played out nicely. Many people warned me my way would only create selfish brats, but they’re kind, empathetic and giving little humans.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
Some days I’m so exhausted and do nothing all day, I have days where I sit on my couch all day with my girls and we just watch movies cause I’m literally so mentally drained. Usually after a long week at work.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so? I daydream but I’m often aware of my surroundings. Not being aware of my surroundings is danger to my brain. I tend daydream most when I’m creating and use them as inspiration to build off.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
It would depend on what was going on in my life, I tend to pull daydreams from what I wish my life was like. Could be what if I was born a princess , could be romanticizing a date with the cute boy I saw in the grocery store for 2.5 seconds, could be how long I would survive on Naked and afraid could be a plethora of things, my brains pretty whimsical when left to its own thought process.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
Can be fast, can be til the last minute depending on how passionate I feel. I chose my children’s names months before their arrival but about a month after starting the naming process. Both of them have the same names I decided on when I made my final decision and starting telling people the name. I almost never change my mind once I’ve made and verbalized a decision
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
It’s a pretty quick process I call “don’t think about it” You just keep shoving them down you until they don’t fit anymore and then you have a little emotional meltdown and you’re good for awhile. I tend to have this process behind closed doors.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
I don’t necessarily agree with people arbitrarily, but I will listen to them without putting my 2 cents in for the sake of conflict avoidance. I tend to not say things I don’t mean, it’s uncomfortable for me.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why? I break rules that have bend and have some sort of grey area with low risk associated. We’re not allowed to wear colored hair accessories only black, I wear whatever accessories I want because nobody cares and it’s been tested and proven that no push back will come from me not following a dumb formality; I enjoy pushing my dress code to the limit any place ive ever worked even its just by adding a perfect little hair clip or headband that doesn’t effect anything but gives me a little creative freedom.
If you’re reading this, thank you! You made it through me really long post and that took me way to long to type. Looking forward to hearing outside feedback on my type.
submitted by mangojellyontoast to infp [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 19:29 mangojellyontoast Where do I belong?

So upon doing my own function stack, and spending months thinking about this and being frustrated, I got ISFP, as an adult I’m pretty outgoing so it would have been a hard guess with a outside perspective, tapping into my childhood and breaking my functions down helped but took some soul searching. So for a fun little experiment, what do you think? I’ve been told ISFP (and this is what I stacked myself as) and INFP. 9W1 is my enneagram as well.
Type Me
• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself?
I’m 25, female from America. I grew up with separated parents from the get go. I was an only child who switched schools and moved a lot, I was always exceptionally smart and excelled at anything I found interesting (English, history, art class) but anything I didn’t like (Math & P.E.) I would put 0 effort into. I’ve always struggled with organizing and simple processes that organized people are good at, Putting shoes on shelf, toys back after your done playing ect. My parents would make me clean my room and I would sit in my room for like 5-8 hours not cleaning because I didn’t want too and drove my parents insane. I was stubborn with things I didn’t want to do beyond words, no bribe was good enough if I didn’t want too. Though most people probably wouldn’t have used stubborn to describe me, I was pretty easy going, go with the flow, don’t enjoy conflict and known to walk on eggshells, but for some reason the few things I chose to be stubborn on were 100%. I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, I had 1-2 here and there but since I moved a lot, bonds were hard to form. I was very good at playing by myself, I played bored games as both people and remember challenging myself to make unbiased game moves against myself, I was very independent and always had a very good understanding of what was going on around me, often referred to as a “little adult” with how I spoke and acted around adults. I had a very good understanding of lying at a young age and how you can lie to make situations better or conceal how shitty things really are. My moms was very unstable and my life was chaotic and I knew I had to lie at school so no red flags were raised. I made up a story to CPS that my mom was just really into being eco friendly and not using resources that negatively impact the environment and then just tried to tell him about composting to stop talking about my mom when I was like 9.. because our power had been off for like 6 months. Anywho, I think I should answer these other questions but that’s my nutshell 🥜
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow? Adhd inattentive
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
I was born into a Jewish family but my mom was essentially the black sheep who didn’t keep up tradition or teach me much, holidays and seeing extended family were where I had all my culture and tradition from since she chose her own path with addiction and dysfunction so I didn’t exactly grow up like my cousins, and I don’t currently practice any religion but still keep up some traditions from my childhood alive without the religious backing.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not? I’m a waitress, it’s okay. It’s not where I want to be but for now it pays my bills and lets me keep up with my hobbies. Good money for the amount or time I have to work which is ideal.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed? depends on when you ask me, on average I tend to love 1 on 1, though I often feel like I spend to much time hanging out and neglect doing things I love that I can only do by myself. I’m really shy about things I put my heart into artistically, I don’t show people my writing, my paintings or anything I actually have to pull from emotion to create. I’m crafty and will show off my little superficial crafts to friends that are fun and silly but never anything that takes real soul searching and emotion. So for that I can’t have people around so sometimes if I havnt had enough time for that, then I’d be fine being alone. Most of the time I like having 1 friend over at my house that I hate leaving but I’m not l a fan of being in a group though do oblige since my friends are very important to me and if it’s important I’m there for them, then it’s important that I’m there.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I danced ballet and that was my main hobby athletically as a kid. I did track for a little while and enjoyed it, I hurdled.
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please explain?
Im very curious. My brain is constantly asking questions and seeking answers. I’m really nosey, but an great secret keeper. My motivation to not divulge gossip and tell secrets comes down to 1) if i tell someone and they find out, then I will no longer be told secrets and I like knowing what’s going on around me and being up to date and the current situation behind closed doors. 2) the conflict coming from telling a secret and being caught is too much, I hate drama and conflict if I’m involved. I only like living vicariously through other people’s drama.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I’m highly competitive, becoming some sort of leader is a prize. Sometimes I get caught in this rut but I have 0 interest in being a boss and having that much responsibility and having that many people to be responsible for. I’m awful at conflict, I don’t wanna fire people. I literally loop myself into this sometimes, I turned down the manager position at my last job after basically securing it through all my extra roles I took on and making myself privy on management duties and processes and a perfect easy train to be manager.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity? I have average coordination, I danced so obviously that helped, I was not a naturally coordinated child by any means. I do enjoy working with my hands, I tend to be a pretty hands on learner, I never read directions before putting things together until I’ve tried to do it by looking at it first, then I’ll stagger through the directions when I get lost.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particularly artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forms of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I wouldn’t say I’m exceptionally gifted when it comes to all forms of art, but I love art. I have a plethora of crafts and projects to always give me an outlet. I watercolor, sew, knit, I love my bullet journal, I think I’m a phenomenal writer when I’m in the right headspace but unfortunately it’s hard to get there. My personal aesthetic is important to me, I express myself through clothes, makeup, hair ect. I’ll search far and wide for a perfect hair clip to compliment my outfit and pull together the mood. Things most wont notice, but for me it completes it. Even with such minuscule things as placing proper lingerie under dresses when going out can often be pulled into the aesthetic when I know nobody will see it, but for me it matters that it’s all balanced and tied together and no detail should be spared. Obviously I have lazy days but more often than not, Im all put together. For me clothes and appearance are a form of art as weird as that sounds.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
Past: My past is often searched through when I need it, I look back and thing about how it effects my present. I don’t particularly dwell on it, “is what it is” kind of situation
Present: I’m impulsive AF and live in the moment more than I lead on. The Future is fucking scary
Future: hopeful maybe I’ll get my shit together but no plans on how to do that yet.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so? I’m happy to help if it doesn’t majorly inconvenience me. I live for small favors, I’m happy to grab coffee, babysit, borrow small amount of money ($10-30 to cover lunch ect), pet sit, give rides home ect though I probably will never offer to drive you to the airport at 5 am or help you move unless I really love you.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life? I suppose not, I believe in some things that simply can’t be proven though few and far between. I tend to stick to facts and evidence when making opinions about things.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you? I wish I was more efficient and productive. I have a great brain but I can be really unmotivated and often procrastinate
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that? I hate this question, Yes I’m very good at controlling certain personalities for my gain though I reserve that skill for good. I can often manipulate a situation to have a good outcome when it’s headed south. I don’t ever use this skill for anything malicious. More or less unpredictable people as a survival technique to avoid escalation.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them? Anything I can create, I love making things. Painting pictures, making a quilt, making candles, photography. I collect hobbies and constantly try new things surrounding crafts and arts. I like reading books, watching movies and listening to music, I love to sing though I’m not very good it’s still something I love doing while driving or alone.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
Memory and creativity are my strongest skills, though memory can be iffy as I tend to have to actually be interested to choose to store it in my brain (math never stuck idk) I remember things in images and little memory videos, text book pages of where I read the answer, images of where I last had my phone because I looked at it when I set it down, image or the word spelled to remember how to spell it ect
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
wing it as I go 100%
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
To be normal and do things I love. I want stability, I want to be organized, I want a decent paying career that makes me happy and isn’t boring, I want a nice middle class home and reliable cars, to be able to afford experiences such as traveling or going to concerts, musicals ect. I want to be able to afford to make my life aesthetically pleasing
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I hate conflict, I just shutdown and it’s the worst feeling ever. I avoid it like the plague. I’m afraid of unpredictable people, I don’t like unexpected behaviors and fear they will become dangerous. I’m afraid of getting in trouble, I follow laws and don’t rock boats. Talking about my feelings makes me uncomfortable, usually I just make jokes to make light or feelings. I have a lot of feelings though. I’m often torn between 1) showing emotion gives somebody an in to your weaknesses and what breaks you down, essentially showing your hand 2) I feel like my feelings are insane sometimes and it’s like a Pandora’s box of bullshit that would be exhausting to explain and hard to follow or understand anyways so it’s not worth the divulge I’m not a robot though, I do divulge feelings on surface level though and when I find somebody who understands and makes me feel comfortable, askes the right questions and digs with the trust established, then I can unload and sometimes can just sorta overwhelm them with the things I can’t talk to anybody else about and then I just feel stupid because I’m pretty sure they think I’m insane cause I word vomited 25 years of feelings and then I’ll usually reel it in and try to not do that again, but if they continue their comforting inquisitive tactics, I can keep going through that cycle.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
People think I’m a good person so that’s pretty cool, I like that people choose to associate me with the good I try to spread. I’m proud of that.
I’m a great mom, I know most people wonder if they’re doing okay, I know I am because that’s the only option I’ve given myself. Raising these humans is such a huge importance in my life , a huge high in my life and I’m proud of who they’re becoming and I love seeing my influence come out when they talk, they speak so kind and positive and it makes me really proud that the way I’ve chosen to guide and influence them really was a good choice and has played out nicely. Many people warned me my way would only create selfish brats, but they’re kind, empathetic and giving little humans.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
Some days I’m so exhausted and do nothing all day, I have days where I sit on my couch all day with my girls and we just watch movies cause I’m literally so mentally drained. Usually after a long week at work.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so? I daydream but I’m often aware of my surroundings. Not being aware of my surroundings is danger to my brain. I tend daydream most when I’m creating and use them as inspiration to build off.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
It would depend on what was going on in my life, I tend to pull daydreams from what I wish my life was like. Could be what if I was born a princess , could be romanticizing a date with the cute boy I saw in the grocery store for 2.5 seconds, could be how long I would survive on Naked and afraid could be a plethora of things, my brains pretty whimsical when left to its own thought process.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
Can be fast, can be til the last minute depending on how passionate I feel. I chose my children’s names months before their arrival but about a month after starting the naming process. Both of them have the same names I decided on when I made my final decision and starting telling people the name. I almost never change my mind once I’ve made and verbalized a decision
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
It’s a pretty quick process I call “don’t think about it” You just keep shoving them down you until they don’t fit anymore and then you have a little emotional meltdown and you’re good for awhile. I tend to have this process behind closed doors.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
I don’t necessarily agree with people arbitrarily, but I will listen to them without putting my 2 cents in for the sake of conflict avoidance. I tend to not say things I don’t mean, it’s uncomfortable for me.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why? I break rules that have bend and have some sort of grey area with low risk associated. We’re not allowed to wear colored hair accessories only black, I wear whatever accessories I want because nobody cares and it’s been tested and proven that no push back will come from me not following a dumb formality; I enjoy pushing my dress code to the limit any place ive ever worked even its just by adding a perfect little hair clip or headband that doesn’t effect anything but gives me a little creative freedom.
If you’re reading this, thank you! You made it through me really long post and that took me way to long to type. Looking forward to hearing outside feedback on my type.
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2020.09.17 12:33 mangojellyontoast What type would you think I was?

(It took me forever to type this and now it’s about 4am so there will be no proof reading so sorry in advance for any typos 😂)
So I’ve been learning about mbti for a few months, learning about the functions, stressing myself out and over analyzing myself to figure my type out. I think after many nights of giving up because I’m so frustrated and conflicted, I finally found some literature that gave me a new perspective and let to a much more thorough way to figure out my functions and I think I might have confidently figured out my type, So for a fun little experiment, what do you think?
Type Me
• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself?
I’m 25, female from America. I grew up with separated parents from the get go. I was an only child who switched schools and moved a lot, I was always exceptionally smart and excelled at anything I found interesting (English, history, art class) but anything I didn’t like (Math & P.E.) I would put 0 effort into. I’ve always struggled with organizing and simple processes that organized people are good at, Putting shoes on shelf, toys back after your done playing ect. My parents would make me clean my room and I would sit in my room for like 5-8 hours not cleaning because I didn’t want too and drove my parents insane. I was stubborn with things I didn’t want to do beyond words, no bribe was good enough if I didn’t want too. Though most people probably wouldn’t have used stubborn to describe me, I was pretty easy going, go with the flow, don’t enjoy conflict and known to walk on eggshells, but for some reason the few things I chose to be stubborn on were 100%. I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, I had 1-2 here and there but since I moved a lot, bonds were hard to form. I was very good at playing by myself, I played bored games as both people and remember challenging myself to make unbiased game moves against myself, I was very independent and always had a very good understanding of what was going on around me, often referred to as a “little adult” with how I spoke and acted around adults. I had a very good understanding of lying at a young age and how you can lie to make situations better or conceal how shitty things really are. My moms was very unstable and my life was chaotic and I knew I had to lie at school so no red flags were raised. I made up a story to CPS that my mom was just really into being eco friendly and not using resources that negatively impact the environment and then just tried to tell him about composting to stop talking about my mom when I was like 9.. because our power had been off for like 6 months. Anywho, I think I should answer these other questions but that’s my nutshell 🥜
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow? Adhd inattentive
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
I was born into a Jewish family but my mom was essentially the black sheep who didn’t keep up tradition or teach me much, holidays and seeing extended family were where I had all my culture and tradition from since she chose her own path with addiction and dysfunction so I didn’t exactly grow up like my cousins, and I don’t currently practice any religion but still keep up some traditions from my childhood alive without the religious backing.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not? I’m a waitress, it’s okay. It’s not where I want to be but for now it pays my bills and lets me keep up with my hobbies. Good money for the amount or time I have to work which is ideal.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed? depends on when you ask me, on average I tend to love 1 on 1, though I often feel like I spend to much time hanging out and neglect doing things I love that I can only do by myself. I’m really shy about things I put my heart into artistically, I don’t show people my writing, my paintings or anything I actually have to pull from emotion to create. I’m crafty and will show off my little superficial crafts to friends that are fun and silly but never anything that takes real soul searching and emotion. So for that I can’t have people around so sometimes if I havnt had enough time for that, then I’d be fine being alone. Most of the time I like having 1 friend over at my house that I hate leaving but I’m not l a fan of being in a group though do oblige since my friends are very important to me and if it’s important I’m there for them, then it’s important that I’m there.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I danced ballet and that was my main hobby athletically as a kid. I did track for a little while and enjoyed it, I hurdled.
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please explain?
Im very curious. My brain is constantly asking questions and seeking answers. I’m really nosey, but an great secret keeper. My motivation to not divulge gossip and tell secrets comes down to 1) if i tell someone and they find out, then I will no longer be told secrets and I like knowing what’s going on around me and being up to date and the current situation behind closed doors. 2) the conflict coming from telling a secret and being caught is too much, I hate drama and conflict if I’m involved. I only like living vicariously through other people’s drama.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I’m highly competitive, becoming some sort of leader is a prize. Sometimes I get caught in this rut but I have 0 interest in being a boss and having that much responsibility and having that many people to be responsible for. I’m awful at conflict, I don’t wanna fire people. I literally loop myself into this sometimes, I turned down the manager position at my last job after basically securing it through all my extra roles I took on and making myself privy on management duties and processes and a perfect easy train to be manager.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity? I have average coordination, I danced so obviously that helped, I was not a naturally coordinated child by any means. I do enjoy working with my hands, I tend to be a pretty hands on learner, I never read directions before putting things together until I’ve tried to do it by looking at it first, then I’ll stagger through the directions when I get lost.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particularly artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forms of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I wouldn’t say I’m exceptionally gifted when it comes to all forms of art, but I love art. I have a plethora of crafts and projects to always give me an outlet. I watercolor, sew, knit, I love my bullet journal, I think I’m a phenomenal writer when I’m in the right headspace but unfortunately it’s hard to get there. My personal aesthetic is important to me, I express myself through clothes, makeup, hair ect. I’ll search far and wide for a perfect hair clip to compliment my outfit and pull together the mood. Things most wont notice, but for me it completes it. Even with such minuscule things as placing proper lingerie under dresses when going out can often be pulled into the aesthetic when I know nobody will see it, but for me it matters that it’s all balanced and tied together and no detail should be spared. Obviously I have lazy days but more often than not, Im all put together. For me clothes and appearance are a form of art as weird as that sounds.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
Past: My past is often searched through when I need it, I look back and thing about how it effects my present. I don’t particularly dwell on it, “is what it is” kind of situation
Present: I’m impulsive AF and live in the moment more than I lead on. The Future is fucking scary
Future: hopeful maybe I’ll get my shit together but no plans on how to do that yet.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so? I’m happy to help if it doesn’t majorly inconvenience me. I live for small favors, I’m happy to grab coffee, babysit, borrow small amount of money ($10-30 to cover lunch ect), pet sit, give rides home ect though I probably will never offer to drive you to the airport at 5 am or help you move unless I really love you.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life? I suppose not, I believe in some things that simply can’t be proven though few and far between. I tend to stick to facts and evidence when making opinions about things.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you? I wish I was more efficient and productive. I have a great brain but I can be really unmotivated and often procrastinate
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that? I hate this question, Yes I’m very good at controlling certain personalities for my gain though I reserve that skill for good. I can often manipulate a situation to have a good outcome when it’s headed south. I don’t ever use this skill for anything malicious. More or less unpredictable people as a survival technique to avoid escalation.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them? Anything I can create, I love making things. Painting pictures, making a quilt, making candles, photography. I collect hobbies and constantly try new things surrounding crafts and arts. I like reading books, watching movies and listening to music, I love to sing though I’m not very good it’s still something I love doing while driving or alone.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
Memory and creativity are my strongest skills, though memory can be iffy as I tend to have to actually be interested to choose to store it in my brain (math never stuck idk) I remember things in images and little memory videos, text book pages of where I read the answer, images of where I last had my phone because I looked at it when I set it down, image or the word spelled to remember how to spell it ect
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
wing it as I go 100%
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
To be normal and do things I love. I want stability, I want to be organized, I want a decent paying career that makes me happy and isn’t boring, I want a nice middle class home and reliable cars, to be able to afford experiences such as traveling or going to concerts, musicals ect. I want to be able to afford to make my life aesthetically pleasing
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I hate conflict, I just shutdown and it’s the worst feeling ever. I avoid it like the plague. I’m afraid of unpredictable people, I don’t like unexpected behaviors and fear they will become dangerous. I’m afraid of getting in trouble, I follow laws and don’t rock boats. Talking about my feelings makes me uncomfortable, usually I just make jokes to make light or feelings. I have a lot of feelings though. I’m often torn between 1) showing emotion gives somebody an in to your weaknesses and what breaks you down, essentially showing your hand 2) I feel like my feelings are insane sometimes and it’s like a Pandora’s box of bullshit that would be exhausting to explain and hard to follow or understand anyways so it’s not worth the divulge I’m not a robot though, I do divulge feelings on surface level though and when I find somebody who understands and makes me feel comfortable, askes the right questions and digs with the trust established, then I can unload and sometimes can just sorta overwhelm them with the things I can’t talk to anybody else about and then I just feel stupid because I’m pretty sure they think I’m insane cause I word vomited 25 years of feelings and then I’ll usually reel it in and try to not do that again, but if they continue their comforting inquisitive tactics, I can keep going through that cycle.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
People think I’m a good person so that’s pretty cool, I like that people choose to associate me with the good I try to spread. I’m proud of that.
I’m a great mom, I know most people wonder if they’re doing okay, I know I am because that’s the only option I’ve given myself. Raising these humans is such a huge importance in my life , a huge high in my life and I’m proud of who they’re becoming and I love seeing my influence come out when they talk, they speak so kind and positive and it makes me really proud that the way I’ve chosen to guide and influence them really was a good choice and has played out nicely. Many people warned me my way would only create selfish brats, but they’re kind, empathetic and giving little humans.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
Some days I’m so exhausted and do nothing all day, I have days where I sit on my couch all day with my girls and we just watch movies cause I’m literally so mentally drained. Usually after a long week at work.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so? I daydream but I’m often aware of my surroundings. Not being aware of my surroundings is danger to my brain. I tend daydream most when I’m creating and use them as inspiration to build off.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
It would depend on what was going on in my life, I tend to pull daydreams from what I wish my life was like. Could be what if I was born a princess , could be romanticizing a date with the cute boy I saw in the grocery store for 2.5 seconds, could be how long I would survive on Naked and afraid could be a plethora of things, my brains pretty whimsical when left to its own thought process.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
Can be fast, can be til the last minute depending on how passionate I feel. I chose my children’s names months before their arrival but about a month after starting the naming process. Both of them have the same names I decided on when I made my final decision and starting telling people the name. I almost never change my mind once I’ve made and verbalized a decision
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
It’s a pretty quick process I call “don’t think about it” You just keep shoving them down you until they don’t fit anymore and then you have a little emotional meltdown and you’re good for awhile. I tend to have this process behind closed doors.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
I don’t necessarily agree with people arbitrarily, but I will listen to them without putting my 2 cents in for the sake of conflict avoidance. I tend to not say things I don’t mean, it’s uncomfortable for me.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why? I break rules that have bend and have some sort of grey area with low risk associated. We’re not allowed to wear colored hair accessories only black, I wear whatever accessories I want because nobody cares and it’s been tested and proven that no push back will come from me not following a dumb formality; I enjoy pushing my dress code to the limit any place ive ever worked even its just by adding a perfect little hair clip or headband that doesn’t effect anything but gives me a little creative freedom.
If you’re reading this, thank you! You made it through me really long post and that took me way to long to type. Looking forward to hearing outside feedback on my type.
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2020.09.17 06:52 Obsessed_With_Corgis Is it possible to fix my relationship after I (23F) stupidly suggested breaking up (while upset), and my boyfriend (26M) called my bluff?

I have been dating my LDR boyfriend for 5 months. We’ve known each other for several years, since college, and started dating after the quarantine brought us back together. He has no real relationship experience, and he is all-around wonderful- besides his issues with communication and making me feel wanted in the relationship.
We have talked about these issues a few times, but it all came to a head tonight when my friend’s BF dumped her for a girl he used to like (who had remained friends with her BF throughout their relationship). My boyfriend has a female friend exactly like this, and I couldn’t help but fear this same scenario. I made the decision to tell my BF my irrational fear before it could eat me up inside. He ended up confessing that he still had unresolved feelings for her, and had told her that he loved her in the past (which was a big deal, because I’ve told him that I love him, and he never reciprocated. I was understanding for months until I heard that he told a girl he had never dated that he loved her).
I stupidly reacted without thinking, and sent him a list of grievances that I stated could end our relationship because of how shitty they made me feel. Some of the main ones were:
(To him): -how you stated you still had unresolved feelings for her (understandable), but then gave no reference to how it played into our relationship and what it would mean if she suddenly reciprocated your feelings
-the fact that you lied to me about never telling anyone you loved them, when you had in fact told her, and you two never even dated
-how learning this makes me feel inadequate and like I’m your second choice for a relationship, and I am not sure I can reconcile with that fact
-that you never once stated that I shouldn’t worry or that I can feel secure in our relationship after revealing this bombshell
-that in the entire time we have been dating, you have never once been clear with me that you want to continue this relationship/that you are happy in this relationship/that you care for me/that you can see this relationship going anywhere
-that I care for you very much, and it doesn’t feel reciprocated
-and now after typing all of this, I am unsure if I can continue in this relationship...
He called my bluff, and broke up with me, saying that he thinks seeking validation is an unattractive quality, that him just being in the relationship should be enough for me, and that it would be unhealthily for our relationship to continue.
I really love this guy, and don’t know what to do. Is there any way to get him back/work this out? Is it possible for him to change even a little bit so that I feel wanted in the relationship? If I want to work things out, should I give him space, or try to talk to him? Please help me out. I feel so devastated right now. This is the only stable relationship I’ve ever been in, and I don’t know if I can move on.
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2020.09.17 05:47 charlotte11235 Please help, I'm still tempted to contact my ex despite a restraining order

Hey guys, I'm desperately looking for some advice. I know the title alone has probably put you off-side, but please read on first.
I dated someone briefly - less than 2 months - it was never serious. He was an awesome, sensitive, attractive guy, but I always felt like I was entertaining him and making him laugh, and not so much the other way round, so I never really got strong feelings. Likewise, he's polyamorous and wasn't looking for anything serious.
To cut a long story short, I acted really needy and overbearing on a few occasions; he got frustrated and we broke up. I ended up contacting him excessively and made a suicide attempt. He spoke to me on the phone and was very kind, but a few days later I got a restraining order and an actual police charge for excessive contact.
Then when I appeared in court, a local newspaper reported on the story.
I was able to have the charges dismissed for mental health reasons, and the newspaper removed the articles. I'm extremely lucky.
I've been going through court-mandated therapy and made some progress towards moving on and dealing with other issues. Recently, I've not even been thinking about him. However, yesterday I saw his Tinder account.
There's something about him being so close, and obviously still seeking sex/dating, that gets to me. All this went down before coronavirus, when he was meeting a lot of female tourists through another website (often sleeping with them). Now that avenue of meeting people doesn't exist, so he's probably finding it harder to meet people. I'm struggling with the thought of us both being so close, sexually frustrated, yet unable to make contact.
The other issue is that I see him as a bit out of my league, in a way, and our connection as pretty deep. At the very least, it's rare (probably once every six months, at best) that I match with someone like him. It's not so much about looks, it's more that our pairing, while imperfect, was still pretty good, and that's hard to find. Before we broke up he was super into me, more so than I was to him, and said the sex we had was 'some of the best ever'.
The final issue is that I have pretty severe OCD, and magical thinking. (And unfortunately, the psychologist I have to see isn't very familiar with OCD.) So seeing him on Tinder is a 'sign'. Something not working out with someone else is another 'sign'. Yesterday I read a website about being stuck in a rut, and at the end it threw in 'pay attention to signs from the universe!' - major 'sign'.
Then random "advice" will pop up in my head - 'You regret things that you don't do more than things you do!' - 'Yolo' (seriously), 'The universe could end tomorrow', etc.
The upshot of this frustration + scarcity mentality + OCD magical thinking is that I start to think: "Hey, what if I sent a message in a way that would really be hard to trace to me (VPN/temp email/TOR), but he'd know it was me. It would suggest he contact me if he was interested in hooking up. That would be it. Just one message; I'd know he got it and I'd be free and not haunted by obsessive thoughts of him."
I sincerely don't want to do that (edit: if nothing else, I'm not great at TOR, and would probably fuck it up and be identifiable), but I'm not sure what to do. Thankfully, I have a time release safe I can put my phone in if I start to obsess too much. Using dating apps is something of a trigger, as is when fledgling dating prospects fizzle out, yet if I were to meet someone and hit it off, thoughts of him would vanish in an instant. So I'm honestly not sure whether I should keep using them or not.
Any advice? Smack talk I can use to counter my 'just do it' OCD thoughts with and bring me back to reality on how horrible it would be if I did and things went wrong?
I would add that I'm not sure if advice saying simply 'He's not into you anymore, move on' is that useful. I'm sure that's mostly true, but I believe there'd still be residual feelings. I'm obviously terrible, but he was really into me while we were dating, his dating pool has gone down, a lot of time has passed, he really enjoyed the sex, and I'm quite attractive. Realistically, there is a possibility he still has feelings for me. Heck, I still have feelings for an ex who stole my bank card and defrauded me, belittled me and tried to hide having an STD. I don't think feelings turn off that easily - even if someone is shitty, you can still like them. Also, another ex I was similarly overbearing with actually contacted me recently on the rebound and wanted to hook up. So I think the prospect of sex can make people lose their good sense. Additionally, OCD thrives on uncertainty. I can't say for certain that he no longer has any interest in me.
However, to reiterate - at the end of the day, sincerely, I just want to move on. I'm not even that into him, thank God (as in, he's not the love of my life; he's awesome, but I've had stronger feelings for other people). It's just hard when no one else on dating apps - I've been using them for about 2 months now - really compares so far.
Thanks for reading and for any advice
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2020.09.16 22:00 ThrowRAwhatboundries My(F28) bf(M30) and his friend(F18) seem a little too close.

We've been together for 8 years and have a 3 year old son. Bf, Greg, has known his female friend, Mary for about 12 years as he's also friends with her older brother who is our age. They've only actively been friends for about 6 months (starting when she was 17).
They hang out, text, and talk on the phone fairly often. She still lives with her parents so he usually picks her up on his motorcycle and takes her to our place to hang out. I'm here sometimes and he pretty much always let's me know when she's coming over.
Here's where things get uncomfortable for me. They sometimes talk on the phone super late at night for hours. He says they just bs about music, video games, anime or whatever. When I'm here and they're hanging out, he can get kinda flirty with her. She doesnt reciprocate BUT she seems to REALLY look up to him and value his opinion and advice a little too much. She's also really insecure and has never had a boyfriend before. I get a little jealous about him picking her up and on his bike because I never really get to ride with him because we'd have to find someone to watch our son if we did.
I've tried to become friends with her and she seems nice but I'm not sure how much we click. She's really into music and we talk about it a fair bit. I've been more of a performer than my bf so she and I actually have more in common with that than they do. She's watched our son for us a few times when we both had work and even spent the night a few times when we both had to work nights.
Greg and I got in a big fight the other day because we dropped our son off at my mom's for the week and he invited Mary over to watch a scary movie while I was at work and he didnt tell me about it until after I got home and he'd already taken her back to her place. I told him that sounded like a date and he said no way, we're just friends and I only watched it with her because you dont like scary movies and she does.
But the most upsetting part is when I brought up their late night conversations and how he hates talking on the phone, let alone for hours, he said he talks to her that long because they have more to talk about and have more in common than he and I do. I'm so hurt by that.
This is our first actual fight about this but I have told him they seem uncomfortably close in my opinion. I'm also kind of creeped out about how much younger she is and the weird dynamic they seem to have where she seeks validation from him and he gives it to her.
I really haven't ever had the thought that he was cheating because hes always been very transparent with me about what they do, talk about, or when they're gonna hang out. This was the first time he told me after the fact and I cant help shake the feeling that he told me after because he knew I wouldn't like it. Now I'm kind of worried hes emotionally cheating and when I tried to tell him that he NEEDS to respect my boundaries when it comes to emotional intimacy with other females, he acted like he had no idea what I was talking about and that emotional boundaries aren't a thing. And that I basically asking him not to be friends with her anymore.
He's always been terrible when it comes to talking about emotions and his dad was one of those, "You're a man, dont cry!" types. I feel like he's gaslighting me, but it also seems very likely that he doesnt understand these kinds of boundaries and we've never had issues like this with him having a close female friend before.
We talked a little this morning when we'd both calmed down and he told me our relationship was still the most important to him, but that he didnt want to sacrifice his relationship with Mary. He said he would if it would make me happy but he really doesnt want to. I don't want to tell him they cant be friends but the nature of their relationship has to change and I'm not sure if he's capable as he still seemed a little clueless this morning.
I have hope that I can explain this to him and he'll understand and be able to establish healthy boundaries with Mary that are more respectful of our relationship, but am I being delusional? Is he straight-up gaslighting me and knowingly emotionally cheating on me?
TL:DR Bf and his female friend seem closer than friends. I tried to tell him to respect our relationship and establish boundaries with her and he didnt seem to understand the concept of emotional boundaries. Should I keep trying to get him to understand or accept it as gaslighting and move on with my life?
submitted by ThrowRAwhatboundries to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 18:29 Ninodonlord Ksrizka - My homebrew monsters for your table. (copy just in case)

Ksrizka

or: What counts is what's inside of you.
Pronounciation: ksrɪɪtskɑ - "ks-rits-kah"
Bottom line, upfront:
Ksrizka, or shell people, are shapechanging monsters from the Outside, a realm between the layers of reality. They are born from the Void that resides there and seek to reclaim existence for the Outside. I will include several statblocks for your perusal at the end of the post as well as some magic items.
0. An orcish tale
With a cry High King Grummshkarrn of the orc tribes embedded his axe into the skull of the intruder. How the female orc had been able to get the drop on him despite his sharp ears he didnt know. The knife in her hand, which had pierced his torso, however, made her intentions clear quite quickly. While Grummshkarrn began going over a list of chieftains he thought would be so cowardly they'd sent an assassin for him, the body of the assailant twitched. Grummshkarrns hand shot to the dagger at his hip while he took a step back out of caution. His axe had split the skull cleanly, he was sure of it. He had felt the bone splinter under his might.
With unexpected speed the face of the body split in two, a thin line appearing along its center, travelling along the orcs neck and below her clothing. The two halves of the body peeled back, starting from the top, revealing pulsating flesh beneath. Inside Grummshkarrn saw movement until he spotted an eye peeking out from the inside. With a sickening tearing sound the body split open further, and something burst forth from inside. Covered in blood, Grummshkarrn could only make out rough features of the creature, but what he could see terrified him. The creature was roughly humanoid in shape, but its proportions seemed off in a way he couldnt quite pin down. With quick feet the shape ran towards the exit of the tent. Grummshkarrn shuddered, as though he had been paralyzed by the horrific wrongness of the creature before him and just broken free from it. He picked up his axe and yelled for his guards to take care of the shell of a body in his tent. He needed to talk to one of his shamans and then he needed a drink to forget.
Table of Contents
  1. Where the Ksrizka are from - Some lore for you to appropriate, take inspiration from or ignore
  2. Ksrizka biology and abilities - How the Ksrizka work and what they can do
  3. Inclusion in a campaign - What the Ksrizka can do for your campaign
  4. Statblocks and such - If you need any, including some artifacts for your party to use
  5. TBC??? - outlook on stuff i am planning for the Ksrizka
1. Where the Ksrizka are from
To give you some inspiration on how you might use the Ksrizka in your campaign, ill quicky write about their story in my world, Noria. Feel free to use it or not, you can even skip it if you are not interested in the fluff.
1.0 On the fabric of reality.
No matter how your world may have been created, there likely was a time before it. In the time before Noria, there was only the Outside, the void between worlds. When Tai'San, the first god of the orcs, had gained enough power he tore the fabric of the Outside from the Mother, the entity that takes up the outside, and created the world. Ever since then, the Mother seeks to reclaim what she considers to be rightfully hers and the Ksrizka are just one of her many children.
1.1 The Ksrizka incursion
The first Ksrizka incursion is what scholars of the old world of Noria classify as the first incident, where Ksrizka cultists emerged from hiding and asumed control of the Capital of Osylana. However, this was only the culmination of the actual first incursion. At the time they had already assumed control of the country from the shadows, were in control of the major cities. They had sabotaged the trade and the military of the country and started to incite riots. The only position they had not yet undermined was the King himself. With their final coup, they toppled the regime and started cleansing the land of all life in preparation for the doomsday.
1.2 Rombalions revenge
After Osylana had been toppled, the surrounding nations realised the danger they were in. Fortunately, while the Mother had sent her children into the world to destroy it, Tai'San was hard at work preserving it. As the father of elves and orcs, he sent visions to the elf Rombalion about the impending doom of the world and showed him the enemy he would be fighting. Rombalion assembled a force of orcs under his command and took control of the capital. However, as he quickly learned, fighting an enemy who could be anywhere and anyone was a doomed endeavor.
Rombalion persevered and eventually found ways of combating this invisible enemy. He and his orc crafted were given magic items to aid them and after much struggle, was able to uncover the majority of the cult/plot and stop the doomsday. After it was done though, he quickly realised that he had been changed by the ordeal. The years of constant danger had turned him paranoid and he no longer fit in with his followers, much less with the other elves at home. Rombalion became a hermit, and after years in exile would find his doom. Remnant forces of the cult of the Ksrizka found him, and alone with no one to watch his back, Rombalion fell in battle against his already vanquished enemy.
1.3 The aftermath
Rombalions sacrifice was not in vain however. He crippled the conspiracy and the cult around it so severely, that Osylana was the only country that fell to their machinations. The cult disbanded and the doomsday was prevented. Now, Ksrizka are a rare breed. They hide in the populace, intent on just getting by. Some of the Ksrizka still seek to complete the mission they were born for, but most are disillusioned by their defeat. But who knows? Maybe some day, they could reunite and become a real threat to the world again.
2. Ksrizka biology and abilities
2.1 Appearance and Abilities
The biggest strength the Ksrizka possess is their ability to blend in: They can appear like any bipedal humanoid race from the outside and sound and smell like them too. They are deceptively good liars and actors from birth. Imitation is like breathing to them.
If you dig a little deeper though, literally that is, their true nature is revealed. Ksrizka are layered. They are, as one of my players once put it, like onions. Cut a layer away and another appears. These layers are 1-2 inches thick on average, but obviously vary between race and place on the body. The deeper you get, the thinner the layers get. An average sized Ksrizka has three or four of those layers before the "core", the true body of the Ksrizka, which is about the size of a newborn, appears.
Ksrizka have some subconscious psychic abilities, which they dont actively control but make them appear more charismatic and persuasive to the commonfolk. Ksrizka can actively choose to abandon one or more of their layers if desired. During this, they emit a psychic scream which paralyses everyone in a radius around them.
Apart from these abilities, Ksrizka are remarkably unspectacular in their abilities. Simply put, over time they can learn all things a normal person could, but nothing more.
2.2 Birth, growth and death
Ksrizka are a strange breed in general. Their birth is the best example for this: To bring a new Ksrizka into the world, three of them need to meet and undergo a specific ritual:
Together, they fill a cauldron with a third of their blood, which puts them in a severely weakened state. To this they add dust from apatite or whitlockite (any mineral containing both calcium and phosphate), essence of the void (a rare essence from their creator) and any ingredient from a innately magical creature (such as dragons or unicorns). If need be, the dust can also be from bone ash. The three Ksrizka then take turns stirring the cauldron for 3 days each, during which they infuse the mixture with some of their memories.
After the ritual is complete, the new Ksrizka has formed in the brew and can be taken out of the mixture. The remaining mixture is rendered unusable and is discarded. A mature Ksrizka needs to wait at least two months before it can undergo another ritual to recuperate from the loss of blood.
The new Ksrizka is in a helpless state for a fortnight after the ritual, during which it learns to use its abilities. Its original form, which Ksrizka can not change, is based on the memories it received from their "parents" and resembles the most common humanoid race in their infant form.
After the fortnight has passed, the newborn Ksrizka is "grown up" in the sense that it has full control over its abilities and can partake in the birth ritual. They also can now start growing new layers. These layers can look exactly as the Ksrizka intends them to. Once grown, they can look exactly as any person they saw or can imagine. Once grown, their appearance stays the same until they grow a new one above it or discard it.
For the actual growing the Ksrizka needs several other things: Primarily food and shelter. A Ksrizka can start growing a new shell around the existant ones at will, but needs to be well fed and protected. Once the process is started, the Ksrizka seeks a quiet space and pupates in a way. They grow a cocoon of skin first, and then sleep for a week, while the rest of the new layer grows beneath it. During this time a Ksrizka can not eat or defend itself and if it was not well nourished before it will starve to death due to the immense need for calories during growth.
Outside of growth phases, a Ksrizka needs roughly the same food as any other race would. This rule is broken however for larger Ksrizka. While nothing prevents a Ksrizka to keep adding layers upon layers, their caloric needs rise exponentially the larger they get. Myths tell stories of Ksrizka as large as giants, but generally they dont exceed the size of your common trolls et cetera without a very good reason to do so.
Theoretically, Ksrizka are immortal. They dont age, so as long as they are not killed, die to disease or starvation, they can and will stick around.
2.3 Limits and weaknesses
The need for food is also the first weakness of Ksrizka. If they do go for a larger form, it becomes increasingly difficult to sustain themselves. And the more food you need, the harder it gets to avoid detection. The biggest strength of the Ksrizka is flying under the radar, so most stick to medium size.
Another limit of the Ksrizka is information. They need to spend time in a community to learn all the unwritten and written rules. If they are new in town and their "parents" did not impart them with a memory of common etiquette to the region they are in, they will draw suspicion to themselves. Similarily to this, infiltrating a tight-knit group is difficult without explicit knowledge of their inner workings. A Ksrizka working undercover plays a dangerous game of cat and mouse with those around them.
Finally, their biggest weakness is in the shells themselves. While they heal like normal flesh would, if they take too much damage at once, a Ksrizka can be forced to discard their top layer. And the moulting process leaves them weak and defenseless. If something can withstand their psychic scream and act during this time, they can be killed with a swift and precise strike.
3. Inclusion in a campaign
Now that you have a rough idea on how Ksrizka work, lets talk about why you are here.
Why and How (to include Ksrizka in your game):
Why
Given the secretive nature of Ksrizka, i've found that they add a nice element of suspense and intrigue to your games. Depending on how much you go into moulting and growing, they can also add some fun horror as well.
The Ksrizka, while unintentionally yet strangely fitting, can be molded to fit your campaign and what you need for it. They can be purely evil cultist/monsters, the perfect infiltrating saboteurs to challenge your political campaign, a group or race of shadowy neutral beings, fighting for survival, striking ends with who they can for your stealth/crime game, or even just a nice twist in an otherwise normal fight in your meatgrinder. I hope i have sold you a bit on adding Ksrizka to your roster of monsters and you will enjoy them as i did in the past.
How
Because of their hidden nature, Ksrizka are easily implemented into any campaign, but there are several questions you should answer when doing so. Since i want to keep this post applicable to all your campaigns, i will leave answering them to you and simply pose the most common and important questions. You know your campaign best, so working through them should hopefully enable you to include these "onion-bastards" (as my brother once called them) into it.
Where did they come from? How long have they been in the world? If for long, how much is known about them? Does the general populace know about their existence? If they are known, how do communities protect themselves from infiltration? Are there groups that hunt them?
Do they plan to end the world? If yes, how far along are they? How can they be found and stopped? If no, what is their goal? Are they evil by nature or by their culture? Are they evil at all? How do they clash with the party? Are they potential allies even?
How common are they? Do they have their own settlements? How homogeneously are they spread over the world? How many are there in general?
4. Statblocks and such
I've included two statblocks for inspiration how Ksrizka may be statted. One important thing to keep in mind: I dont run my games using 5E, so please take this with a grain of salt and be prepared to change it on the fly. To get specific statblocks, feel free to just take one from a humanoid in the MM and slap the Ksrizka specific abilities on it. Keep in mind, that the Moult ability may become exponentially more dangerous if the party faces multiple Ksrizka, so use with care.
These stat blocks were modified after the Bandit captain (Basic Rules, pg. 397) and the Frost Giant (Basic Rules, pg. 128) as a standard and one extreme example. Finally, i would recommend to prepare at least one layer below the top one as well. I have deliberately chosen to keep most of the stats the same, so that until revealed, the stats wont give the Ksrizka away either.
4.1 Monster and...
Medium sized Ksrizka
Medium abberation, any alignment
Armor Class 15 (scale mail) Hit Points 65 (10d8+20) Speed 30 ft.
STRDEXCONINTWISCHA16 (+3)12 (+1)14 (+2)14 (+2)11 (+0)16 (+3)
Saving Throws Str +5, Con +4, Wis +2
Skills Deception +5, Perception +2, Persusasion +5
Senses passive Perception 12
Languages Any two
Challenge 4 (1100 XP)
Ability: Moult. As an action, or as a reaction after dropping to less or equal than 10 hit points, the Ksrizka may decide to moult and discard one or more layers of itself. All non-Ksrizka creatures within a radius of 50 feet must succeed on a DC 15 Wisdom Saving throw or become incapacitated for 3 turns. While incapacitated in this way the creatures speed is reduced to zero. The creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the condition on a success. The Ksrizka becomes incapacitated and its speed is reduced to zero until the end of the next two turns, while it claws itself out of its shell. During this time, it gains the benefits of 3/4 cover against ranged attacks but can still be hit normally by melee attacks.
Ability: Grow (once every 2 weeks). The Ksrizka grows a larger shell around itself. Once started this process takes one week to complete. During the transformation it is unconscious. It may choose any larger humanoid creature than its previous form that it has seen before (same or larger size) and choose any form that creature may have. The Ksrizka now looks identical to the chosen creature on surface but retains its previous abilities. Due to the new body it has disadvantage on Strength, Dexterity and Constitution Ability Checks and Saving Throws for one week after the growth is complete.
Actions
Multiattack. The Ksrizka makes three melee attacks: two with its scimitar and one with its dagger. Or the Ksrizka makes two ranged attacks with its daggers.
Scimitar. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 6 (1d6 + 3) slashing damage.
Dagger. Melee or Ranged Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft. or range 20/60 ft., one target. Hit: 5 (1d4 + 3) piercing damage.
Reactions
Parry. The Ksrizka adds 2 to its AC against one melee attack that would hit it. To do so, the Ksrizka must see the attacker and be wielding a melee weapon.
----------------------
Huge sized Ksrizka
Huge abberation, any alignment
Armor Class 15 (natural armor) Hit Points 138 (12d12 + 60) Speed 40 ft.
STRDEXCONINTWISCHA23 (+6)9 (-1)21 (+5)14 (+2)11 (+0)16 (+3)
Saving Throws Con +8, Wis +3, Cha +6
Skills Athletics +9, Perception +3, Persuasion +6
Senses passive Perception 13
Languages Any two
Challenge 9 (5000 XP)
Ability: Moult. As an action, or as a reaction after dropping to less or equal than 10 hit points, the Ksrizka may decide to moult and discard one or more layers of itself. All non-Ksrizka creatures within a radius of 50 feet must succeed on a DC 15 Wisdom Saving throw or become incapacitated for 3 turns. While incapacitated in this way the creatures speed is reduced to zero. The creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the condition on a success. The Ksrizka becomes incapacitated and its speed is reduced to zero until the end of the next two turns, while it claws itself out of its shell. During this time, it gains the benefits of 3/4 cover against ranged attacks but can still be hit normally by melee attacks.
Ability: Grow (once every 2 weeks). The Ksrizka grows a larger shell around itself. Once started this process takes one week to complete. During the transformation it is unconscious. It may choose any larger humanoid creature than its previous form that it has seen before (same or larger size) and choose any form that creature may have. The Ksrizka now looks identical to the chosen creature on surface but retains its previous abilities. Due to the new body it has disadvantage on Strength, Dexterity and Constitution Ability Checks and Saving Throws for one week after the growth is complete.
Actions
Multiattack. The Ksrizka makes two greataxe attacks.
Greataxe. Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 25 (3d12 + 6) slashing damage.
Rock. Ranged Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, range 60/240 ft., one target. Hit: 28 (4d10 + 6) bludgeoning damage.
4.2 Artifacts to fight them with
As you can see, Ksrizka are not intended to be cannonfodder. The larger ones are especially dangerous and considering the layers waiting below, they are definitely a threat. So what do people do about threats in a fantasy world? Make some artifacts. These are mine, feel free to use or replace as you see fit.
Rombalions Eyepatch is made from steel, the outside is decorated with a gold leaf ornament of a butterfly and the inside is covered with overlapping fine runes. When worn those runes shine in a dim white. Whenever the wearer looks at a Ksrizka, the runes on the inside where their body would appear in the wearers vision without the Eyepatch turn red, no matter the form the monster takes or how they disguise themselves. The Eyepatch only works on living Ksrizka or the remains of a shell immediately after moulting. It does not show Ksrizka who are hidden by magic nor anything worn by them.
Note: This artifact is obviously quite strong as it bypasses the entire intrigue. I highly recommend not giving it out right away. Only use it if you want your players to have an effective means of revealing the Ksrizka. One way i used it was giving it to the players when they were about to enter and stay in a city in which the Ksrizka have already nested themselves deeply into the power structures. That way, even though the party had means of finding the Ksrizka, they needed to find solid proof, before they could act on their knowledge.
The shelldagges were worn by the fighters of Rombalions group. They appear to be finely crafted and ornamental daggers of ancient age, but are still quite sharp. When examined by appropriate means, it is revealed, that the daggers are not magical, but their hilts are.
When wielded against a Ksrizka, the damage of the daggers becomes magical, their critical range increases to 19 and 20 and critical hits deal thrice the normal damage instead of twice. The daggers otherwise have the stats of normal daggers. Ksrizka have an instinctive fear of the daggers. They feel the threat. Outside of combat, any Ksrizka who sees the daggers immediately assumes the wielder to be hostile and must then succeed on a Wis save against the wielders passive insight. On a failure, the wielder notices a fearful or hateful expression of the Ksrizka. On a success, the Ksrizka becomes immune to the fear inducing aura of the daggers for 24h.
Bonejaw was an amulet, which Rombalions orc priest fashioned out of the bones of defeated Ksrizka. It is a simple array of jaw bones of varying sizes, tied together with leather string to create a spiral of roughly 4 inches diameter. The wearer of the amulet may expend one of its 7 charges to automatically succeed a save against the psychic scream during moulting. The amulet regains 1d4 charges at dawn.
These 12 shards of green gemstone are collectively known as Grivins doom. They are of various shape and sizes but none are smaller than a finger and none are bigger than a fist. Some parts of the gemstones are covered with ornaments, while other sides are smooth to the touch. If a Ksrizka is nearby, the gemstones heat up to a degree that is painful to touch with bare skin but not hot enough to cause damage.
The stones are the shattered remains of the centerpiece of the crown of Osylana. After the coup of the Ksrizka, the last King, young Grivin was slain and his crown was shattered. In his dying moments, Grivins hatred of the conspirators latched onto the centerpiece of his crown and still remains, milennia later. If someone found all 12 pieces, they could remake the crown of Osylana. Whoever wears the crown may use a bonus action to gain advantage against weapon or spell attacks against Ksrizka for one minute. The crown recovers this power after a 3 long rests.
Even though the Tongue of a Ksrizka is not the source of its psychic ability, it can still be used to mimic it. If you can procure the tongue of a freshly deceased Ksrizka (the real body), and know the right preparative measures, you can turn it into a one use item. Any willing creature of at least INT 4 may put the tongue in their mouth as an action and let out the famous Ksrizka scream. Doing so destroys the tongue, which dissolves into an ethereal nothingness (which tastes like a cool chill grazing the tongue of the PC). Any creature within a 50 ft. radius, excluding Ksrizka, must succeed on a DC 13 Wisdom Saving throw or become incapacitated for two turns. The user of the item is excluded from this save.
5. TBC???
I was originally intending to also make an encounter to introduce both the Ksrizka and the artifacts to fight them, but as this post has grown in size beyond my expectations, i feel its best to postpone that and do it in a seperate post. Don't quote me on a "release date" though ;)
6. Thanks to
@ canuckerrant, who "doesnt really do the reddit thing" and wants me to link his twitter. They helped me out quite a bit with the flavour text above.
Also thanks to DraggonFlyer, RockBobster and Mister_F1zz3r for their help with the stats and the post in general. Without them this would be way less worthy of anyones time.
Finally, thanks to you for reading this and making it all the way here.
7. Post Scriptum
You are free to use this post for your campaign. Should you want to include it elsewhere on the internet, offline, in a book, or share it in anyway outside of linking to this, please contact me via reddit or discord Ninodonlord/#8372 beforehand to get my ok.
Also sorry for any typos you come across. This was not tested for balance in 5E since i play a different system and you can and should adapt it to better fit your players and campaign.
You can also check out my other stuff at [The complete Nino], if you'd like to do so :)
submitted by Ninodonlord to u/Ninodonlord [link] [comments]


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